Have you given yourself permission to CTB

[hmnow]

I have. And it is a giant weight off my shoulders

It's okay to kill myself. I have my permission

 

[capi]

People overlook this in the grief or processing part of ctb
I feel like before I didnt allow myself because i was still holding on to some hate
And i felt so disgusted of myself i felt like i deserved to live and suffer instead of having the peacefulness of death
But everyday im starting to realize its okay and accept life and death with myself
its healing in a way, just like how ctb should be entirely voluntary and in best interests of only yourself.

 

[FuneralCry]

I cannot just choose to peacefully cease existing as after all I exist in the most horrific, dreadful world where suicide is seen as a crime with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what, I always suffer so much from being denied peaceful death as all I want is to be gone, I just want peace from the torturous abomination of existence that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, all I want is peace and I'll only be at peace once I no longer suffer in this dreadful, deeply undesirable existence I always saw as a mistake.

 

[$yck]

Not only have I given myself permission, but I've also been hyping myself up for it. I've been basically giving myself positive affirmations regarding CTB and telling myself all kinds of shit about how I'm confident in my abilities and how it'll work. It's kinda goofy lmao.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I gave myself permission to ctb long time ago, but my parents will never give it to me. They want me to stay in this world to suffer. If it weren't for them I would've died years ago. Probably by hanging because back then the SN method was unknown to me.

 

[58Alice85]

yeah it always was a possible course of action

 

[eternalpace]

I gave myself permission many years ago… and that permission continues as I go through Round 2 of attempting.