Discussion Have you actually felt happy/peaceful for some of your close ones/friend(s) who committed suicide?

[qw3rty259]

I've never lost anyone significant in my life. Two members of my family had died (not due suicide), but I felt nothing except of relief for them that their sufferings are gone. Also a feeling of absurd, like, a person was here and now they are gone, and what was all that for.

I can't imagine how would i react if my child (if i wasn't an antinatalist haha) or loved one, or close friend done that. I guess I'd get sad. But at the same time it would be a peaceful sadness as whatever reasons they would have, i have to respect that. And if they were struggling, now they are free. Everytime I watch a dramatic movie i feel peace when a struggling character dies.

I don't know why I'm asking. I just imagine that it would be so much easier to commit if the people around you'd understand the decision, didn't blame themselves and all that. I would have to lie to my mother and stuff. Chester Bennington wouldn't need to put on a happy face or maybe he would be genuinely happy if they accepted that that's one of the paths he might choose. Ok, i understand that it's a bit surreal and looks like life just doesn't work like that.

But the main question remains, what did you think towards your close one, when they did that?

 

[overmorrow]

my bf killed himself years ago and I'm still not over it, and as much as I want to be happy for him i can't knowing, he's forever gone

 

[amor.dor]

I lost two people to suicide, but I was close to one of them. I was in a relationship with her, and we had planned to take our own lives together. But as we talked openly about life and were honest with each other, things started to change. We began to feel better. However, as I kept thinking deeply about life and people—down to the darkest conclusions—I fell into depression and decided to end the relationship so I wouldn't hurt the person I loved.

Ironically, she gave up a few weeks later. She only asked me to be with her in her final moments on a call, and that's what I did. It was so hard to watch the last moments of someone you love, even while trying to make her reconsider, to think carefully about whether she really wanted to go through with it. She did it anyway.

How do I feel? Well, I feel at peace for her—for that beloved person who wanted peace and now rests forever. But I feel sad for myself, because even though I tried everything I could to help, it wasn't enough.

Love doesn't erase pain; it only makes it more bearable.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've only known of people here who suicided. It was a mixture really. I definitely did feel a sense of relief for them. They had been struggling for a while by the sounds of it and they really did want out. I selfishly knew I'd miss them though.

In real life, it's all been natural deaths in my family. I was mostly too young and needy to feel anything but enormous loss when they went. Even though- I was basically instructed to try to feel relief for them.

Now, being antinatilist- I see that as cruel in itself. Kind of a- I don't care if you're 3 or 4 or 10 years old and you desperately need your dead family members. Death's a part of life you'll need to learn to accept. In fact- you need to work on feeling happy for them. They were in pain at the end. Now, they're free.

Amazing it doesn't work in reverse though. If I chose to suicide- I doubt they'd appreciate being told they needed to be 'strong' or 'relieved' for me. It would be different then. Why did they expect me to cope?

I truly don't know how I'd feel about a suicide amongst family or close friends. I suppose I know it would be hypocritical not to feel relieved for them. I guess it would most likely be a mixture of feelings again.