Has anyone had a near death experience? What was it like?

[pharma]

As a child, I almost passed away three times, and each time, I recall a distinct sensation of peacefulness and acceptance as i realized that I was about to die. I was scared the last two times (drowning and stopped breathing due to acute bronchitis) but the feeling quickly faded into a sensation of "this is the end, this okay." It's a type of peace I have never experienced since. I'm not afraid of dying, but it scares me how quickly time is passing. I remember laying on the tile flooring convinced I was goin to die, and all I could think about was how beautiful the sun rays looked on the white floor. That was when I was 12… I'm 22 and I can't believe that time has passed so quickly. I've been feeling a lot of death anxiety and my suicidal ideation has worsened on SSRIs, so I've been obsessed with what happens after death and the experience of dying itself.

 

[idiotmother]

As a child, I almost passed away three times, and each time, I recall a distinct sensation of peacefulness and acceptance as i realized that I was about to die. I was scared the last two times (drowning and stopped breathing due to acute bronchitis) but the feeling quickly faded into a sensation of "this is the end, this okay." It's a type of peace I have never experienced since. I'm not afraid of dying, but it scares me how quickly time is passing. I remember laying on the tile flooring convinced I was goin to die, and all I could think about was how beautiful the sun rays looked on the white floor. That was when I was 12… I'm 22 and I can't believe that time has passed so quickly. I've been feeling a lot of death anxiety and my suicidal ideation has worsened on SSRIs, so I've been obsessed with what happens after death and the experience of dying itself.

I'm obsessed with those things too..I'm scared of the dying process and what comes after, especially for a suicide. Your reports of feeling peace are relieving though..maybe it is peaceful, maybe there is nothing to fear. My ideation is also worsened by medication..much more so. What was your experience at 12 like, how'd you end up on the floor?

 

[nullsoul]

I'm sure everyone has questions like this

 

[itsgone2]

I wasn't awake for mine. During a surgery. I'd rather not give a lot of details but surgeon made a mistake. My heart stopped. It's not clear from surgical notes how long. But a time period where they were having to restart it. Unreal. But looking back it all could have been over right there. And I wasn't even awake. Could have just died in my sleep. Everyone's dream.
Not exactly what you were looking for. I wish something random would happen though.

 

[Alex_Was_Here]

Theres more but I remember two of them specifically, one of them might not have even killed me but at the time I was sure. While walking home from school two cars crashed right next to me, shrapnel flew everywhere and I stood still for a second just paralyzed by the loud sound that I didn't even process. Later on I found a chunk of metal in my backpack, it ripped through my bad and lodged inside one of my notebooks. I realized then that, that could have easily been my head or gut. Another time I was walking home from school a semi truck came to a quick stop cause one of its wheels popped off, it bounced off the curb and like a foot behind me. I turned around to see the wheel smash into against a brick house, and bounce to a stop. The house had a four foot area of bricks pushed inwards. I just looked at that wall for minutes but it felt like hours. Both times I just thought why didn't it hit me, it should have hit me.

 

[pharma]

I'm obsessed with those things too..I'm scared of the dying process and what comes after, especially for a suicide. Your reports of feeling peace are relieving though..maybe it is peaceful, maybe there is nothing to fear. My ideation is also worsened by medication..much more so. What was your experience at 12 like, how'd you end up on the floor?

I stopped breathing and slipped. It was really hot outside but the ad was running. This causes some condensation. I dint remember much besides feeling suddenly peaceful. Same thing happened when I drowned. I was still conscious all times, so it wasn't really a near death experience, more so "I'm about to fucking die" but I didn't care at all.

I wasn't awake for mine. During a surgery. I'd rather not give a lot of details but surgeon made a mistake. My heart stopped. It's not clear from surgical notes how long. But a time period where they were having to restart it. Unreal. But looking back it all could have been over right there. And I wasn't even awake. Could have just died in my sleep. Everyone's dream.
Not exactly what you were looking for. I wish something random would happen though.

I my anesthesiologist fucked up once during a surgery and I woke up super late. Had a long dream and was really annoyed when I woke up haha. The human brain does lose consciousness during natural death, so there's that to look forward to if I can't work up to CTB soon.

I'm sure everyone has questions like this

I find them interesting to read. The consensus is that wanting to die is problematic, but people who have had NDE almost always say they are no longer afraid of death and that it is peaceful, regardless of the trauma sustained. I've been reading up a lot on it and it's made me more virulently pro-euthanasia.

 

[Heidi48]

about a year ago i was down visiting my inlaws and while eating dinner a piece of beef got stuck in my throat....i dont think i have ever felt panic like it- the gasping for air and not being able to. was shaking for good hour after ( and this comes from someone actively planning to ctb). maybe because i wasnt in control... who knows

 

[gunmetalblue]

From my experiences, after panic and struggle, and everything being drawn out for so long, I'd feel that sense of peace. Like acceptance.

 

[happysunnydayy]

Theres more but I remember two of them specifically, one of them might not have even killed me but at the time I was sure. While walking home from school two cars crashed right next to me, shrapnel flew everywhere and I stood still for a second just paralyzed by the loud sound that I didn't even process. Later on I found a chunk of metal in my backpack, it ripped through my bad and lodged inside one of my notebooks. I realized then that, that could have easily been my head or gut. Another time I was walking home from school a semi truck came to a quick stop cause one of its wheels popped off, it bounced off the curb and like a foot behind me. I turned around to see the wheel smash into against a brick house, and bounce to a stop. The house had a four foot area of bricks pushed inwards. I just looked at that wall for minutes but it felt like hours. Both times I just thought why didn't it hit me, it should have hit me.

Did the drivers die?

 

[Pale_Rider]

I died from a self administered OD. Complete darkness is what I remember. Idk if that signifies a mental block , because it was bad. Maybe it means nothing. Idk.

I wasn't awake for mine. During a surgery. I'd rather not give a lot of details but surgeon made a mistake. My heart stopped. It's not clear from surgical notes how long. But a time period where they were having to restart it. Unreal. But looking back it all could have been over right there. And I wasn't even awake. Could have just died in my sleep. Everyone's dream.
Not exactly what you were looking for. I wish something random would happen though.

I have a friend who died during heart surgery. You are very lucky. God bless you.

 

[madameviolette]

I had out of body experiences that resembles identically to accounts of NDE. When I was younger, I used to be able to get out of my body while sleeping. I went to places that felt surreal and with such bliss that it would make me wake up crying. And this is also the reason why I'm not convinced consciousness stops after dying.

After such experiences, I'm also not convinced that consciousness is in the brain or heart or any body part. Pretty sure it's delocalized but we can't prove it.

 

[idiotmother]

I had out of body experiences that resembles identically to accounts of NDE. When I was younger, I used to be able to get out of my body while sleeping. I went to places that felt surreal and with such bliss that it would make me wake up crying. And this is also the reason why I'm not convinced consciousness stops after dying.

After such experiences, I'm also not convinced that consciousness is in the brain or heart or any body part. Pretty sure it's delocalized but we can't prove it.

Wow that's incredible. Maybe consciousness is like a broadcast our brains are antenna receiving it. Does this make you less afraid of death?

 

[madameviolette]

Wow that's incredible. Maybe consciousness is like a broadcast our brains are antenna receiving it. Does this make you less afraid of death?

No I'm scared as hell to die. But this is because I got severe Akathisia and impending doom from prescribed meds. I have this gut wrenching terror day and night. Chemical terror from psych drugs was used as a form of torture in Soviet Union. In other natural circumstances I don't think I'd be afraid to die though.

 

[RunDown]

I had out of body experiences that resembles identically to accounts of NDE. When I was younger, I used to be able to get out of my body while sleeping. I went to places that felt surreal and with such bliss that it would make me wake up crying. And this is also the reason why I'm not convinced consciousness stops after dying.

After such experiences, I'm also not convinced that consciousness is in the brain or heart or any body part. Pretty sure it's delocalized but we can't prove it

I also had this experience when I was younger when I slept. Also, before I woke up I felt myself floating around the room until I landed neatly back in my body. I felt conscious the whole time. Btw I got your reply on my other thread. Sry you're going through the same crap I am. Psych med damage is a nightmare.

 

[Surai]

I was drowning in a pool when I was 10, a sort of acceptance washed over me. I was at the bottom looking up at dead bugs that had died on top of the surface of the water. I was waiting

 

[idiotmother]

No I'm scared as hell to die. But this is because I got severe Akathisia and impending doom from prescribed meds. I have this gut wrenching terror day and night. Chemical terror from psych drugs was used as a form of torture in Soviet Union. In other natural circumstances I don't think I'd be afraid to die though.

I have issues from psych meds too..it's getting worse by the day. I honestly feel like I need to ctb soon. I can't stop the anxiety and I barely sleep. They forced me to take anti psychotic poison and whenever I taper I end up with severe anxiety and Akathisia. I'll never be able to come off and I can't stand being on them. I will be attempting soon unfortunately, I can't take this chemical torture anymore. I'm sorry you're going through it too, idk what we did to deserve this but it's fucked up to be absolutely robbed of life in this way.

 

[pharma]

I have issues from psych meds too..it's getting worse by the day. I honestly feel like I need to ctb soon. I can't stop the anxiety and I barely sleep. They forced me to take anti psychotic poison and whenever I taper I end up with severe anxiety and Akathisia. I'll never be able to come off and I can't stand being on them. I will be attempting soon unfortunately, I can't take this chemical torture anymore. I'm sorry you're going through it too, idk what we did to deserve this but it's fucked up to be absolutely robbed of life in this way.

I feel the exact same way. I have a friend that I speak to and he always see,s happy and satisfied for life, and not in a performative way. He encourages me to have sex and flirts with me lol. Not sure if that works for me since o get all sort of emotional dysfunction from my medication and I'm even more suicidal off it. I'm happy to die. I know it's peaceful so I look forward to it.

 

[madameviolette]

I have issues from psych meds too..it's getting worse by the day. I honestly feel like I need to ctb soon. I can't stop the anxiety and I barely sleep. They forced me to take anti psychotic poison and whenever I taper I end up with severe anxiety and Akathisia. I'll never be able to come off and I can't stand being on them. I will be attempting soon unfortunately, I can't take this chemical torture anymore. I'm sorry you're going through it too, idk what we did to deserve this but it's fucked up to be absolutely robbed of life in this way.

What antipsychotic did you take ? I'm sorry, it seems we are quite a few on this site. I can't stand it either, it's unbearable. I have no reason to suicide except for this injury. I have everything to be happy in my life but this is not life when you're in constant terror and agony.

 

[idiotmother]

I feel the exact same way. I have a friend that I speak to and he always see,s happy and satisfied for life, and not in a performative way. He encourages me to have sex and flirts with me lol. Not sure if that works for me since o get all sort of emotional dysfunction from my medication and I'm even more suicidal off it. I'm happy to die. I know it's peaceful so I look forward to it.

I hope you're right about it being peaceful!! I'm sorry you suffer too :(

What antipsychotic did you take ? I'm sorry, it seems we are quite a few on this site. I can't stand it either, it's unbearable. I have no reason to suicide except for this injury. I have everything to be happy in my life but this is not life when you're in constant terror and agony.

Yes, same. I have a family whom I love dearly, i have good qualities, but these "medicines" have completely ruined me. I take risperidone and seroquel ;(. Such horrible poisons.