Discussion Has anyone ever been groomed

[somi.c]

I got groomed and I felt really lonely so I got intrusive thoughts like "I should unblock him". Has anyone had conflicting experiences or just experienced grooming in general

 

[daruino]

Yes, I recognize the lonely and suffocating feelings. Despite the thoughts I urge you to not seek contact with your groomer or any other person who could negatively affect you in this way. I can only say it'll get better with time... How long ago did this happen?

 

[somi.c]

Yes, I recognize the lonely and suffocating feelings. Despite the thoughts I urge you to not seek contact with your groomer or any other person who could negatively affect you in this way. I can only say it'll get better with time... How long ago did this happen?

I got groomed in dec and I had these intrusive thoughts today but I stopped myself

 

[alstroemeria55]

I've been groomed, it took me a long time to realize. They're great at making themselves sympathetic to their victims. It's a good thing you understand the situation and my advice would be that you should not pursue this relationship any longer, it is very damaging. I understand your conflicted feelings, but you deserve better people in your life, even if they may take a while to find.

 

[Lady_V]

Pls do not unblock your groomer.
I was never groomed because anime men gave me extremely high standards in men, and I am thankful for that every day. Guys tried so hard with me tho. Sick shit.

They're great at making themselves sympathetic to their victims.

Every groomer is like a masterclass at DARVO.

 

[somi.c]

Pls do not unblock your groomer.
I was never groomed because anime men gave me extremely high standards in men, and I am thankful for that every day. Guys tried so hard with me tho. Sick shit.

Every groomer is like a masterclass at DARVO.

He sent me a friend request and I feel really lonely and crazy how do I ignore the urge to go down the wrong path

 

[Lady_V]

He sent me a friend request and I feel really lonely and crazy how do I ignore the urge to go down the wrong path

Predators often have several victims. You aren't special to him. You aren't even human to him. He saw/sees you as an object. Something to use to satisfy his sick demons. Maybe you were the one who listened to him and came crawling back enough because you had nothing else, but he doesn't care about you or your well-being. If he did, he would have never preyed on you.
Don't give him permission to continue on being a predator. You are not crazy. You are really lonely and in a bad place in your life. Letting your abuser back into your life will help absolutely nothing.

 

[somi.c]

Predators often have several victims. You aren't special to him. You aren't even human to him. He saw/sees you as an object. Something to use to satisfy his sick demons. Maybe you were the one who listened to him and came crawling back enough because you had nothing else, but he doesn't care about you or your well-being. If he did, he would have never preyed on you.
Don't give him permission to continue on being a predator. You are not crazy. You are really lonely and in a bad place in your life. Letting your abuser back into your life will help absolutely nothing.

Thank u i really needed this queen

 

[Lady_V]

Thank u i really needed this queen

I am wishing you all the best and hope you can find some clarity and strength in this situation.

 

[somi.c]

I am wishing you all the best and hope you can find some clarity and strength in this situation.

Thanks what u said was like a wake up call for me

 

[inkmage333]

Yeah and I never realized until I mentioned the experience(s) in therapy and my therapist had to tell me I was getting groomed...I've also thought of unblocking them a few times and reaching back out because they seemed sorry (even despite the fact that I got a PTSD diagnosis because of them) but my ex-boyfriend at the time was telling me not to

 

[freakypossum]

I did, by multiple people actually and the realisation came yeears after the fact

 

[sanctionedusage]

yeah, but i was aware of what was happening and sought it out. ana coach shit. one of those things only sasu will ever know

dont unblock.

 

[violetforever]

i don't know if i was groomed even though i talked to adult men online since i was about 12. at that age and for a few more years while i was underage i had a friendship with a man who was old enough to be my dad but nothing more happened. i didn't even like him in that way. i always thought until recently that it wasn't weird but i realize now that it was. he wasn't creepy in any way except in two instances i can remember. he referred to me as a hot girl to another man and said he would marry my friend when she became an adult.

the other situations weren't just friendships but nothing at all serious. when i was 15 and 16 i talked to two men aged 20-25. they were aware of my age and even said things like "why do you have to be 16?" and made jokes about how it was illegal for us to be talking. there was no coercion or gifts or manipulation like in grooming though. back then i really did like these men for some reason and just responded to them showing interest in me. one started as a friendship and the other was just flirting from day one. that's why i question if i was groomed. i'm aware now that those men are literal pedophiles and i was a victim of pedophilia though.

everyone disagrees on whether young adults can be groomed or not so this might be completely irrelevant. i was 20 and he is 15 years older. i won't get into details but we were friends for some years until it became more. absolutely loved him since i met him and he knew what we had was serious for me. it all fell apart. my friend swears i was groomed which is why i mentioned it. i won't deny that the age gap gave him some power over me especially since i am inexperienced, sheltered and traumatized from abuse. i tried to hide that from him but i'm sure it was obvious.

everyone gave you insightful advice to listen to already so i'll just say i'm sorry that this happened to you and so recently. please don't unblock and put yourself through anymore of this.

 

[FoxSauce]

I think so but failed miserably, basically had a fit and threaten to come to where I live.I as 12 ofc Iwas scared but I figure out ot was a lot of bull.

Nothing really.

But ik people have it worse so I feel sorry if anyone has been groomed in the worst ways.

I consider myself lucky but people sometimes are not so fortunate so my deepest sympathies if you were and you have to deal with that

 

[MAKE IT STOP!]

Yes. I was groomed into doing fetish roleplays on amino when I was 13-14 and then when I was 16 I was groomed into an ERP on Wattpad. The Wattpad groomer still stalks me to this day. Nothing I do can get him off my ass. Sometimes I wonder if I should just ERP with him again so he can leave me alone.

 

[TimingOut]

How to ascertain that person is a groomer?