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B

Buh-bye!

jkfajsd
Jan 10, 2024
340
hey,
wherever you are i just wish you're having nice and good moments that make you so happy and content, you don't have to remember anything anymore. except for a few things that i wouldn't force you to remember but would just be glad if they still were in your good memories. 'cause surely they're in mine but ironically i can't access them anymore :)
remember last year when piyush bhaiya sent you that message of a happy anniversary ? well i forced him to hah. thereafter we did see your reply and not just that i realized a lot of things that day. i was going to cp actually, but lacked the money. i was midway there though and i realized shit i lack the money hah. i called a few people and this that and although i could have managed to go, it was like 8pm and i knew doing it now would further worsen things so i dropped the plan. ( i dropped the plan in mehrauli, well that was where i was contemplating how to complete the rest of my journey to cp ). sorry my narration skills have just become really bad in addition to other things but i hope you understand it's coming from a man confined to his house all day with no involvement in anything of self development. but that was that yeah, and maybe a few other things i must have done that day. most of which surely went unnoticed - i am glad honeslty.

fast forward to this day 2nd of december, a year later from that day and- :) i am not doing any of those things today except for this note. i'll get into why although it feels like a wrong thing to explain but yeah i'll just do it anyways it's my vent too afterall. i don't know how it changed for the worse in a year, my writing, it used to be for you, about you and the feelings were raw as they were pretty. now it's just very phony in a manner that i feel i am doing it to compensate for not doing anything special all day, thinking it's the least i could do. the harshest of notes hah. i am i i still do love you and i am making sure each day it doesn't turn to 'loved'. i made peace with the you and me being apart thing and now in the present i just pray wherev you're you get the happiest of life since that's what i actually really want the most now. even more that our love i love you - damn that line's so bad. i can't go down the memory lane anymore so i gotta stop here. although that doesn't mean you can't understand what i must be thinking all the time, which is far more words than just this.
iloveu
iloveyou:)
take khayaal of yourself loveoy

ajneichanei
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it a prvt note
 
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