Hang myself tomorrow night?

[AnimeSlayersFan]

I'm wondering if to hang myself, even if for a show, tomorrow night, I already have a rope, and a good anchor point.
My mom will leave for a bit for Christmas and that's gonna be my window.
I don't know if I wanna die, but I feel the gesture of trying at least is gonna bring out change, maybe pity from other people?
I don't know man, but I feel I might end up panicking and attempting tomorrow, same as when I took a ton of pills, I got some pity and attention, but the huge change that I thought was gonna happen after my attempt never came. I'm in the same place, pseudo hikikomori, spinning my wheels in place, never really worked, so no real resume to speak of, and even if I got hired somewhere I feel my first roles would be really poorly paid with bad conditions, I'm too soft really.

What do you think guys? You are the only people I talk to asides for a few online friends

 

[cakedog]

I don't think you should die unless you're 100% determined
you say you're not sure if you really want to die so i think you should postpone it
i know being alone is hard and people caring about you sounds nice but i don't think this is the way you even said that your past attempt with pills didn't cause a radical change

i think if you really just want people caring about you maybe talk with it to your mom or relatives or if they don't care about you not even the minimum then i guess you could give solitude a chance there's so many things you can do even when you're alone but you said you have online friends so that's even better

as for the semi-neet part unless you're forced to get a job right now i think you can use some slice of your free-time to learn some skills even if they won't bring a 6 figure job but at least you'll be able to work a semi-comfy job for a while

 

[Sheller]

Are you starting to work? Maybe do work everyday, step by step, slowly, you can get small harvests day by day, and maybe after month later, you will see you have a big change. Year by year, you could get more and more life experience that can let you feel happy and satisfy