For me everyday suffering in this existence is always so futile and torturous, I'll always see it as the most terrible dreadful tragedy how this existence was imposed causing all this harm and suffering as a result, for me non-existence really is all that's positive and desirable, I wish for no more cruelty and no more suffering, I just wish for this deeply undesirable existence to be all gone and forgotten for me and I always see so much cruelty in how peaceful death is so cruelly denied with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what. To me existing really is so dreadful, I see existence as an abomination that just causes pain and suffering all for the sake of it and I'd always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake with no limit as to how much one can suffer, I find it terrifying how a human can exist for so long.