Guilt why does it drive me

[Tats31]

I'm very new to site so hello and I apologise if I'm doing anything that's frowned upon. i have spent most my life feeling guilty in some form, from losing my mum at 11 and then seeing my sisters brothers show so much distain for each other. In adult life I have become very cynical about everyone who tries to get close. For whatever reason I married and had a child, it never sat well being married I felt like she was here because she had no where else to go. During this time my father died and a brother, my sisters just closed ranks and made my life hell all for ££££ I closed down and shit them off. Then years after I closed down with my wife I couldn't get over the feeling of her being with me just for my son and financially. I'm the end I sought solace in another women. Just because she was being nice.
All in all I look back on my life and feel guilt. Guilt over everything I touch seems to turn into shit. I look at my life and I truly know that no one would miss me

 

[Hopeindeath!]

There is no erasing the past, but changing the future is possible. Have you sought therapy about your feelings?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Guilt is such a powerful emotion even though it serves no function. It can drive us to anger and self-hate and often those feelings can be projected to others when we are feeling threatened. It's very difficult to deal with and involves figuring out how to understand yourself at a core level and be true to how you really feel and why you feel it.
Most people have difficulty doing this and some never can. Its most unlike me to suggest therapy but I think for guilt sometimes it can actually help some people to explore specifics. I think one of the issues with guilt is that it can distort your view. Even if you know that, it can be hard to see things if that is the case, so it can be valuable to use someone else as a mirror to your feelings.