Goodbye thread <3

[MicahBell]

hi SaSu.

i've been such a coward for so long, I should have been dead a long time ago. Nows finally time I can't stand it anymore. theres not a single thing left for me to hope for, anything that I really love or enjoy, so i'm sad or anything. I'm very lucky to be an unremarkable person who not many people will remember.

for the people who will remember me, at least my family, they probably won't remember me fondly for the most part. They do love me I think in their own way, but they've never liked me. I waited for them to notice something was wrong. even when I told them I wanted to kill myself they didn't seem to notice. at every turn I waited for someone to save me but they won't.

And whatever, no matter how long I put it off it won't make them hurt any less. so i'm not too sad about them anymore either.

thats all I guess. I'll be catching the bus tomorrow but for now i'm burnt out from other people and I want to turn my phone off and be alone. thank you everyone for being so kind even when i'm not sure i've deserved it. ironically SaSu has probably made me live longer. Best of luck to you all

 

[DreamsOfNothing]

I hope you find peace

 

[sanctionedusage]

bye micah. i knew you only for one day because i happened to check chat on the right day. i hope everything goes well for you

 

[iamanavalanche]

take care, micah i did not know you for long, but you are someone worth meeting. i wish the best for you.

 

[yume_]

hope you find the solace you are looking for.
best wishes to you also.

 

[♡Sayori_Kinnie♡]

Living a life like that, I can see why you want to leave . I wish you nothing but the best, and goodbye. Hope things go smoothly for you, or are the least painful as possible.

 

[darksouls]

good luck,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[dewdfish]

wish you find the peace you've been looking for, Micah. See you on the other side

 

[FadingSnowFake]

You will be remembered here. Peace and love, whatever you may decide. Sending hugs.

 

[krsm98]

may tou finally find peace for all the pain and suffering, i wish you the best and sorry it came to this. Best of lucks and hope things go well

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Wishing you peace and freedom from this horrible planet.

 

[black_iris]

i wish you peace <3

 

[doomedbynarrative]

No matter what happens, I wish you nothing but peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find freedom from suffering.

 

[bakenohana]

goodluck, i hope you find peace

 

[Nolongerlive]

May the peace be with you

 

[Al_stargate]

Sorry life brought you to this point, wish you the best! Was always pleasure talking to you!

 

[LettinGooo]

Goodbye Micah, hope you find peace

 

[ForeverYours]

Wherever you may end up, and whatever proceeds us after death, I hope it does you better than we did. Good luck out there and I hope you find peace.

 

[sweetdrowning]

Thanks for hanging out in chat. I'll miss seeing you around. I hope it was peaceful for you, and you found what you were looking for.

 

[MicahBell]

it's 4:46 am now and officially time to do it. i'm really tired and even though i thought i wouldn't be at this point im frightened. its so easy to just turn your alarm on, go to sleep, and passively accept the next day. i'm done with that though. done it enough. so bye, and see y'all on the other side. or if there is no other side, bye anyway i guess.

 

[MicahBell]

if you're gonna do the night-night method, and you can get past the psychological block of getting the ratchet tight enough, don't expect it to be entirely painless. the first thing i noticed is a pain in the jaw, since the carotids are located behind the jawline. it gets worse the tighter the ratchet is. think of the pain you might experience if you held your mouth open for a very long time. you should ideally be able to breathe but it isn't easy, just barely through the nose since the corn bags and ratchet kind of force the jaw to be locked. and obviously having anything tight around your neck this way hurts. if the lock of the ratchet is directly over one of the cornhole bags the strap may dig into your neck which is especially uncomfortable so make sure the lock is positioned between the two. and anyway when the ratchet gets tight enough to feel an intense throbbing in your head from constricted bloodflow you should be able to breathe still but i'm experiencing the sort of panic you have when you are actually asphyxiating because it becomes really difficult. psychologically, the hypoventilation is the hardest part for me to get through. i'm still resolute to do it, but don't think the night-night method is an entirely pain-free method

 

[darksouls]

it's 4:46 am now and officially time to do it. i'm really tired and even though i thought i wouldn't be at this point im frightened. its so easy to just turn your alarm on, go to sleep, and passively accept the next day. i'm done with that though. done it enough. so bye, and see y'all on the other side. or if there is no other side, bye anyway i guess.

goodbye Micah
see you on the other side

 

[vascomorrow]

if you're gonna do the night-night method, and you can get past the psychological block of getting the ratchet tight enough, don't expect it to be entirely painless. the first thing i noticed is a pain in the jaw, since the carotids are located behind the jawline. it gets worse the tighter the ratchet is. think of the pain you might experience if you held your mouth open for a very long time. you should ideally be able to breathe but it isn't easy, just barely through the nose since the corn bags and ratchet kind of force the jaw to be locked. and obviously having anything tight around your neck this way hurts. if the lock of the ratchet is directly over one of the cornhole bags the strap may dig into your neck which is especially uncomfortable so make sure the lock is positioned between the two. and anyway when the ratchet gets tight enough to feel an intense throbbing in your head from constricted bloodflow you should be able to breathe still but i'm experiencing the sort of panic you have when you are actually asphyxiating because it becomes really difficult. psychologically, the hypoventilation is the hardest part for me to get through. i'm still resolute to do it, but don't think the night-night method is an entirely pain-free method

Abort

 

[egyptian_baddie]

1.You're not a coward. A coward doesn't survive this long in a mind that feels like it's on fire.
2.You say you're unremarkable and won't be remembered. Most of the world is "unremarkable." That's not a moral failure ,that's just being human. The people who quietly hold doors, who post on forums, who say thank you, who survive another day , they don't make headlines,but they matter. The fact that you think SaSu kept you alive longer means you've been part of that ecosystem too. You've been someone in the room.

I hope you find peace and happiness in whatever decision you take