Getting clean from drugs in order to CTB

[BrainSplatter]

So I've made the decision to get clean before I CTB. I need to get everything in order legally like writing my will, paying off my debts and clearing my house. I cannot do that while high or in withdrawal drugs are only prolonging my own pain I've realised that now. I feel so much happier about everything and that I'll soon I will be free I have so much energy and I'm not even through withdrawal yet I think it's just I'm fully sure in my decision now whilst before I was still contemplating it idek I told someone my plan because I was so excited, but what will they do? Honestly it's not like they can just keep me in the restraints forever people CTB every single day and so will I. I just feel like I was just stuck in that depressed state but nothings changing and I've fully accepted that now before I was fighting it for so long idek why maybe because CTB is permanent I had hope there's nothing I or anyone else can say or do to change how I feel. I'm just so excited I've rebooked my will appointment yay I feel like I've won the lottery here

I was over complimenting it for so long it's not that complicated at all. It's actually very simple. It's actually very very easy I don't even need to think about it so much and that's what was holding me back. I was thinking about all these things the pain, the location, how long it would take how long this this and this. You only have to watch suicide video to see how quick it is. I feel so much better soon this will be over. Why even spend time or energy thinking when I CTB I won't even think feel or be in pain because I'll be dead. I need to focus on my plan that's all