Discussion Gay people, how did you realize you aren’t straight?

[sgifeei]

Ngl I (20f)always felt I wasn't "normal" in that way. I found women pretty and cute and wanted to date them, my first kiss was a girl, I made out with several of them.
I did try dating guys, but I never, ever had real love for them (or even like). I would just end up hurting them, so to prevent that I just stopped dating them.
Idk what to do, my family is conservative, and in my country it is not as common to be queer.
I just need to feel like I am not alone ig

 

[adiosToreador]

i found out pretty young (like, ten years old,) when i realized i had a crush on another girl. it was never really a big thing for me, my parents didn't really talk about gay people, but they were plenty accepting. i think i might have known that, because i just perceived it as a natural thing, (which it wasn't in that area, because it was out in the country, but i didn't know that at the time,) so it made the realization less difficult to accept.
it sounds like it's not going to be that easy for you, and that sucks, but it's alright!! you'll be okay. remember that there are queer people everywhere, even if they're not terribly open about it. you'll find your people, i believe in you }:)

 

[lysergamide]

girlfriend once revealed to me i was gay and i was like "oh damn you're right".
(but more seriously i was never attracted to anyone at all and i loved to flirt with girls and the occasional non gender conforming people i guess; so when it dawned on me it was like oh, fork found in kitchen)

 

[psp3000]

very young but initially I had no idea what being gay was or gay people until all of the adults around me attempted to hammer in the whole "being gay is wrong" and homophobia and "outlet" metaphor thing

here are some cannon events:

-looking up "two girls/two guys kissing" on the Internet or YouTube

-"Am I Gay?" quizzes

-realizing years or even months or decades later that one friendship you had with a friend of the same gender felt like an intimate romantic relationship

-pretending to not have romantic or sexual interests at all to avoid being found out or out of paranoia someone will know you're gay