Venting Friends turning on suicidal people

[just_a_girl]

Why does attempting do this? I understand someone's loved ones being angry or feeling betrayed (even if that's bs I can see why they get there) but it's just an extra dagger imo. They desperately don't want you to do it but when you attempt and fail they hate you more. A friend hid that from me for a week post and now is actively trying to hurt me beyond repair and I can't see her doing it for any other reason than I attempted and she couldn't accept I'd want to

 

[doomedbynarrative]

Human psychology and behavioral patterns are whack. A lot of people take something like a friend attempting suicide as a personal attack when it isn't. And often when we feel attacked we either freeze, run, or "hit back".

Sounds like your friend is choosing the hit back option. She felt hurt and her brain wants you to feel that same amount of hurt in return.

I've been in a similar position as your friend though not over suicide. And I didn't actually hit back so to speak but I wanted to. Pain can make people crazy I can promise you that. I mean, if it didn't none of us would be here.

I'm really sorry you're getting the sharp end of her anger and hurt. It doesn't help at all.

 

[existentiallinguine]

I think people just hate the mentally ill, I'm so sorry. Right now, your friends and loved ones should all be rallying around you and trying to support you. I seriously hope you have a good support system other than this asshole trying to fuck with your life after attempting. My last friend abandoned me the day after my last attempt while I was still in the hospital, so believe me I understand and am so sorry. It genuinely pains me to hear about someone else going through anything similar.

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you. I've had friends block me over my suicidal ideation so I can understand the feeling. I think you just have to accept that those people are not the people you should want to have in your life and move on. Of course you can try to make them understand and have them support you but in my experience that's fighting a losing battle. But just because some people are assholes doesn't mean the whole world is that way. I think there's plenty of people out there who will support you through your troubles. Maybe they're not the majority but they still exist. Finding those people is the most important thing you can do as a suicidal person IMO (at least if you're attempting to recover). I hope you're doing ok and having a nice day <3.

 

[Fadenself00]

I think people just hate the mentally ill, I'm so sorry. Right now, your friends and loved ones should all be rallying around you and trying to support you. I seriously hope you have a good support system other than this asshole trying to fuck with your life after attempting. My last friend abandoned me the day after my last attempt while I was still in the hospital, so believe me I understand and am so sorry. It genuinely pains me to hear about someone else going through anything similar.

evolutionarily that makes a lot of sense obviously

 

[jengablocks]

evolutionarily that makes a lot of sense obviously

im not an authority on behavioral/evolutionary science or anything like that but i think it's fair to caution against putting this in that kind of context. we are so, so far detached from the hunter-gatherer society that our evolutionary roots are based on. humans are kind, empathetic, and care for each other through sickness.

i saw a video about an elephant sanctuary that flooded where 3 elephants, while navigating to higher ground, would stop, wait, and make enough noise for a blinded elephant behind them to catch up.

that kind of behavior is the very thing that our evolution gave rise to--extremely tight social bonds. what is "illogical" on paper, helping a blind elephant who can't contribute, actually makes the most logical sense for social animals. it would not at all serve to cultivate our social bonds to literally abandon one of us who is dying. those social bonds are the very reason for our survival in the first place.

the sorts of places we live in now differ a lot from our roots, especially in urban areas. most people live very socially detached from one another, even in the comparatively smaller, closer communities. maybe self-preservation kicks in and makes us think we need to abandon a struggling person who makes us feel hurt, but that we feel hurt at all at the sight of someone hurting is exactly evidence enough that we are supposed to care for them. but like doomedbynarrative said, i think people have different responses to that hurt that don't address it well. i think most "modern" cultures tend to be very individualistic in some capacity, where it would feel like abandoning someone lets you escape that hurt.

sorry for the long & weird tirade, maybe some of the details arent right but i believe in what im saying. i dont mean for this to be a mean response either, i just want to try and affirm that this sort of behavior shouldn't be framed as natural or expected.

we really, really are supposed to care for each other in situations like this and you deserve better.