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nir

nir

27/F/Canada
Aug 18, 2024
309
No, I will not share the obituary link or their username.

I was speaking to this person up until their suicide. They hadn't given me their name, but they had given me enough information and we lived in the same province, so it wasn't hard to locate their obit given the details I had.

What can I say? I knew they thought they wouldn't really be missed. I wish I could have shown them everything I've found online, all the posts, memorial art, playlists, people so sad about losing them. Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference, but I'd rather die knowing I'm loved than otherwise. I hope in their last moments, they knew.

I'm keeping it vague for privacy reasons, but I feel so sad. I know this is a pro-choice forum - and believe me, I am pro-choice - but the sadness doesn't go away just because CTBing is justifiable in many circumstances. I wish there were ways we could escape pain without having to die. If their loved ones ever find this website, I hope they get solace knowing this person wasn't alone in their final moments. And that they are missed by us, too. Because they are. I think everyone who has ever left this website forever is missed by someone. All their Goodbye threads are like memorials for us. I'm glad we get the chance to know each other, even if it's brief. Only wish it was under better circumstances.

Love you guys.
 
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ForestGhost

ForestGhost

The ocean washed over your grave
Aug 25, 2024
205
That's really bittersweet. I myself have been totally blown away by the compassion, intelligence, and love I've seen from everyone here in my short time on the forum. There's no way that people like this aren't touching the lives of those who know them in the real world, as you so clearly observed firsthand. It's such a shame that the spectre of mental suffering makes it hard for people to see it, or is simply so overwhelming that it doesn't make a difference.
 
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nir

nir

27/F/Canada
Aug 18, 2024
309
That's really bittersweet. I myself have been totally blown away by the compassion, intelligence, and love I've seen from everyone here in my short time on the forum. There's no way that people like this aren't touching the lives of those who know them in the real world, as you so clearly observed firsthand. It's such a shame that the spectre of mental suffering makes it hard for people to see it, or is simply so overwhelming that it doesn't make a difference.
It's really sad that people have to come to a forum about suicide to get compassion online. I've met so many nice people on here. I can't say the same for most other websites I've been on, lol.

Man, I've been crying. I feel so old at 26, but seeing their obit, their age being so similar to mine, just made me realise that they still had so much time left. I guess that also means I also have time left. I just hope I can stop fucking up my life.
 
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L

LifeQuitter

Experienced
Jul 11, 2024
263
I just saw the obituary, it's weird reading their goodbye thread knowing who it was that passed away.
 
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astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
628
there are so many people on here that i think, in an alternate universe, we could have been close, maybe we could have saved each other. idk. it's weird to feel so happy that they're no longer suffering, and simultaneously feel such an ache that they're not here anymore. this website can be so beautiful and so painful at times.
 
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nir

nir

27/F/Canada
Aug 18, 2024
309
there are so many people on here that i think, in an alternate universe, we could have been close, maybe we could have saved each other.
It's so bittersweet. I've met a lot of nice people on this website, but it's such a tragic place to meet people because most of us are planning on logging off sooner rather than later.
 
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N

NoPoint280491

Ready to checkout
Sep 7, 2024
40
I'm sorry for your loss. Did they ctb with SN? Please share their goodbye thread if possible (not the obit)
 

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