Feeling very conflicted now.

[HereUntilApril]

So after dealing with a horrible sore throat, it had me thinking about everything and I'm not too sure if I'm ready to go now. It's not because life is better by any means but it's only because of how everything didn't go according to plan. I was also thinking about everything and I realized that the only problem that I have that is actually making me suicidal is the keloid on my right ear, that when I tried getting it removed, made it look way worse and basically damaged the way the helix of my ear looks and I regret it so much everyday. If there was a way that I could actually fix it, maybe I would actually reconsider on taking my own life but I don't know if there are any solutions. If anyone knows a solution, I'd appreciate it.

 

[snow.mp4]

i'm not sure if this is very related but i see a kid pretty often where i walk around everyday, similarly to u, he has issues with his ear except, from what i can see it looks like his entire right ear was ripped apart with only an earhole being visible on the right side of his head. even so, it doesnt look like he really cares that much about it. he looks like an incredibly sweet kid even with a scar like that, with the kid laughing around with his friends pretty often talking about whatever. we dont know each other but when i notice him, its pretty wholesome.

its really my personal opinion but i feel like u shouldnt let a keloid get the best of u too much, of course, how we interpret our own injuries is definitely up to us so i cant judge but maybe u could just have it be a part of ur identity

 

[butimstillsoblue]

Are you really considering suicide because of a keloid on your ear? Maybe you could find another medical professional to help you improve it.

You're clearly distressed about it, and I don't want to sound dismissive in any way, but I wish my only problem was a scar/keloid.

 

[Linda]

Can you wear you hair long, to cover it up?

 

[HereUntilApril]

I guess I had a little bit of a mental breakdown yesterday. The keloid on my ear causes me a lot of itchiness and pain everyday. I do have long hair where I can cover it up but I do wish I could cut my hair. It's a bit hard to explain it but it has affected me ever since I was a kid and it's one of those things that has been a problem for me all of my life. I might give myself more time to live but it is a challenge for me to deal with.