Venting Feeling trapped

[TwoQuarks]

These are some of the reasons why I feel like I want to CTB. I wonder if anyone else has felt the same way and how they're dealing with it.

(I'm a 22yo guy from Algeria)

• I was objectively a high ability "smart kid" in primary and middle school. But mental health issues and external stuff derailed my academic trajectory in high school which pushed me into a university major I neither chose strategically nor value intellectually. I graduated anyway, but in Algeria that degree has almost no labor market payoff (like almost any other major here). I feel like a wasted potential and a looser and I can't handle this feeling it's eating me when I see my old friends relatively successful in the eyes of society tbh I envy them. Simply I'm not the person I thought I would become, and at this point the window for change feels closed. And I can't accept being normal and seeing people above me in better major, jobs and social status.

• On top of all that, I live with ankylosing spondylitis. It's not just pain. My neck is already almost fused, and I know it will get worse with time. That thought is terrifying. I'm young, yet my body is slowly becoming more rigid and less flexible, like it's aging too fast. It affects my sleep, my energy, and how I move through the day. Knowing that this is progressive, that my body may keep limiting me more and more, makes me feel trapped. This is not the body I want to live in, and carrying that awareness every day adds a heavy layer to my depression.

What do you think about that I would really like to hear your thoughts

 

[itsgone2]

22 is young to be dealing with a major health issue. And career path concerns are just as valid. It's horrible what the job market is like now. Resume building starts at a very young age.
Seem like two valid reasons unfortunately. But hopefully you hang in there