Feeling really down, want some comfort

[sohopelessandempty]

I want to die as always(can't ctb for many reasons, saying this just because I get paranoid about people thinking I died or something). Every day is so unbearable, I just want to be comforted from all this suffering. I'm so sad all the time and I feel helpless and like there's nothing I can do about it. That because I can't ctb, I will feel this way until I die of old age. I've tried but I can't accept a life of such pain but I'm not sure what to do then. I don't really have a choice, it's complicated. Just really upset about current suffering and also the knowledge that I'll suffer the rest of my life. I just want it all to go away. I'm in so much pain. I'm going to bed now, hopefully I get some sweet replies that I'll see later.

 

[Arvayn]

You have all my best sympathies that one day your circumstances will change and you'll be free of your current situation, whatever it is. We've already talked before, so I'd just be repeating myself. I truly wish I could do more to help you.

You will never be truly helpless; you are choosing to be here every single moment you still breathe, and you have the agency to decide your own behavior. Again, that is a commendable act in itself. Love yourself and hold your cherished ones close; you are sweet too and I'm sure that you bring joy to your friends.

You are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul!

 

[sohopelessandempty]

You have all my best sympathies that one day your circumstances will change and you'll be free of your current situation, whatever it is. We've already talked before, so I'd just be repeating myself. I truly wish I could do more to help you.

You will never be truly helpless; you are choosing to be here every single moment you still breathe, and you have the agency to decide your own behavior. Again, that is a commendable act in itself. Love yourself and hold your cherished ones close; you are sweet too and I'm sure that you bring joy to your friends.

You are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul!

It would take me too long to explain why I can't kill myself. It's not necessarily choosing to be here, it's more like unless I try to ctb, time passes anyway and I'm still alive. I guess technically I'm choosing to be here, but I feel forced for reasons that are too complicated to explain. I don't want to be here. Thank you for being kind but I don't think things will ever change. I always hoped things would change and I hoped maybe I'd grow out of this or something, I've been in this agonizing pain since I was 11. But many, many years have passed since then and I still feel the same way I did as a kid. It never goes away. I really wish I was dead. Thank you for your kind words though.

 

[NutOrat]

Hey, I totally get you, sometimes (ok, very often) all I ever want is to be comforted, cuz I feel so helpless, even if it isn't fully true. I wish you feel a bit better in the morning (or have you already woken up?). I can never speak for far in the future, but in the immediate one I wish your day gets a bit brighter. You've been suffering for more than enough, and also being trapped by family/fear/other reasons to keep living in this torture, I feel you :(

I always hoped things would change and I hoped maybe I'd grow out of this or something, I've been in this agonizing pain since I was 11. But many, many years have passed since then and I still feel the same way I did as a kid. It never goes away.

Yeah, I've been told it will just go away, and it never did, because it's not like flu that your organism just combats on its own, it doesn't work like that. I hope you can get good mental healthcare that actually works.

 

[sohopelessandempty]

Hey, I totally get you, sometimes (ok, very often) all I ever want is to be comforted, cuz I feel so helpless, even if it isn't fully true. I wish you feel a bit better in the morning (or have you already woken up?). I can never speak for far in the future, but in the immediate one I wish your day gets a bit brighter. You've been suffering for more than enough, and also being trapped by family/fear/other reasons to keep living in this torture, I feel you :(



Yeah, I've been told it will just go away, and it never did, because it's not like flu that your organism just combats on its own, it doesn't work like that. I hope you can get good mental healthcare that actually works.

I'm sorry you are going through this pain too. I hope it goes away for both of us someday. I've already woken up and I still feel like shit.

 

[yesi]

I don't have anything to say because I feel very similar, I hope knowing that other people understand your situation somewhat will help you feel a bit comforted.

 

[idk.]

I want to die as always(can't ctb for many reasons, saying this just because I get paranoid about people thinking I died or something). Every day is so unbearable, I just want to be comforted from all this suffering. I'm so sad all the time and I feel helpless and like there's nothing I can do about it. That because I can't ctb, I will feel this way until I die of old age. I've tried but I can't accept a life of such pain but I'm not sure what to do then. I don't really have a choice, it's complicated. Just really upset about current suffering and also the knowledge that I'll suffer the rest of my life. I just want it all to go away. I'm in so much pain. I'm going to bed now, hopefully I get some sweet replies that I'll see later.

I dont know what to say I just hope you the best. Maybe we can play a game together, maybe that might make you happier (if you want of course.)

 

[MapleS]

I also can't ctb, though I'm not all the time in pain now, but when I was it was unberabe so I feel you (a bit)
I wish you that you will suffer less in this world *hugs*

 

[sohopelessandempty]

I also can't ctb, though I'm not all the time in pain now, but when I was it was unberabe so I feel you (a bit)
I wish you that you will suffer less in this world *hugs*

I wish you less pain and suffering too. Do you have any advice on how you made it so that the pain isn't constant anymore?

I dont know what to say I just hope you the best. Maybe we can play a game together, maybe that might make you happier (if you want of course.)

I wish you the best too! I don't want to play a game, it's not personal I just avoid becoming actual friends with anyone here for many reasons, people here are sweet but for my own mental health and well-being it's for the best that I don't. Also for privacy reasons, and also just the fact this is a suicide forum with strangers and I have no clue how old some of the people are here. I assume a lot of people don't put that for privacy reasons too. That's why I don't have any info about myself on my profile. Sorry I have a bad habit of over explaining, maybe this is similar to how in psych wards people aren't really allowed to exchange contact info?(they do it anyway, but it's discouraged. Doesn't always turn out bad, but I've heard some wild stories from friends and also the internet)

I don't have anything to say because I feel very similar, I hope knowing that other people understand your situation somewhat will help you feel a bit comforted.

It does but it's sad so many of us are going through this pain. I hope one day for you it goes away, and you and many others who are suffering can be happy.

 

[Pluto]

 

[sohopelessandempty]

Awww. Not the first time I see a cute cat meme on here, not complaining though. Just not something the average person would expect to see on a suicide forum lol

 

[NutOrat]

Awww. Not the first time I see a cute cat meme on here, not complaining though. Just not something the average person would expect to see on a suicide forum lol

Better get used to it That's Pluto for ya!

 

[babydoctor]

I want to die as always(can't ctb for many reasons, saying this just because I get paranoid about people thinking I died or something). Every day is so unbearable, I just want to be comforted from all this suffering. I'm so sad all the time and I feel helpless and like there's nothing I can do about it. That because I can't ctb, I will feel this way until I die of old age. I've tried but I can't accept a life of such pain but I'm not sure what to do then. I don't really have a choice, it's complicated. Just really upset about current suffering and also the knowledge that I'll suffer the rest of my life. I just want it all to go away. I'm in so much pain. I'm going to bed now, hopefully I get some sweet replies that I'll see later.

It's almost christmas!! At the very least snuggle up with some hot cocoas and some christmas appropriate pajamas. The time will pass anyway right now, might as well do some little things you find mild pleasure in!!!

Better get used to it That's Pluto for ya!

yup, love to see him comin!!

 

[MapleS]

I wish you less pain and suffering too. Do you have any advice on how you made it so that the pain isn't constant anymore?

Well, what woked for me... I have severe autism to start with.

When like was unberable I stopped scrolling at all and it helped. It was miserable at first but thwn helped.
And then I started watch regular content. It was ok at first and then I felt miserable too, so I stopped. A bit of normal content is ok but more make me wanna grab the rope. For scrolling ANY amount is killing me.
But conted also HELPED me in the past so there's no one solution

For never ending anxiety and fear and- medication. I hate being so heavily medicated but it makes life bearable. I know that being on so many meds makes me unable to ever be happy but I don't really have a choice. It takes the pain away.

Spoiler: unconvertional medication

For autism and "taking away weight from things that i fear" 0.5mg 'risperidonum' helped and for anxiety and how strong the misery was mood stabilisers helped

 

[sohopelessandempty]

It's almost christmas!! At the very least snuggle up with some hot cocoas and some christmas appropriate pajamas. The time will pass anyway right now, might as well do some little things you find mild pleasure in!!!

yup, love to see him comin!!

My favorite holiday, but this unbearable pain takes the fun out of everything. I don't even look forward to Christmas anymore, I'm too far gone. Nothing will make me truly want to live. Not money, not holidays, nothing. My boyfriend makes me want to live temporarily, but I can't see him very often these days. I get paranoid about admitting this and also ashamed, but I can't be the only one. I'm 18, but due to my birthday, I'm this age my senior year of high school, instead of turning 18 when starting college like some people with different birthdays. My parents are abusive(not so much physically anymore), and they are strict and won't let me see him sometimes. I don't have a car, I lost my job a few months ago, my parents have my location so can't take the bus, my parents driving us to see each other is the only way we can hangout. I feel ashamed about this, but abusive parents don't care if you're legally an adult or not, they treat you the same as always. It doesn't matter to them, as long as you're still under their roof. I can't even afford to dorm for college.
T

Well, what woked for me... I have severe autism to start with.

When like was unberable I stopped scrolling at all and it helped. It was miserable at first but thwn helped.
And then I started watch regular content. It was ok at first and then I felt miserable too, so I stopped. A bit of normal content is ok but more make me wanna grab the rope. For scrolling ANY amount is killing me.
But conted also HELPED me in the past so there's no one solution

For never ending anxiety and fear and- medication. I hate being so heavily medicated but it makes life bearable. I know that being on so many meds makes me unable to ever be happy but I don't really have a choice. It takes the pain away.

Spoiler: unconvertional medication

For autism and "taking away weight from things that i fear" 0.5mg 'risperidonum' helped and for anxiety and how strong the misery was mood stabilisers helped

Thank you so much!!! I'll keep the meds in mind, I really want to try medication this year.