Feeling like you are playing with house money

[Traveller12724]

So I have always tried to be responsible with the money I make from my job but now that I have to ctb in a few months, I am failing to logically convince myself to keep being responsible, I feel like since I will be dying soon enough, why not spend it and give into my worst impulses, it feels like I am playing with house money with nothing to lose.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Having a similar mindset to you, I spent savings on a trip to Japan last year even though it was fairly unwise financially and meant I have to work even harder now. I think experiences like that are worthwhile, especially if you are at the point of thinking, "what do I have to lose?"

Do something you've always wanted to do, if things are already at rock bottom, is how I've always seen it. Do something fun and spontaneous. While I don't know your reasons for contemplating ctb, some people find renewed purpose and a feeling of being alive again after the thrill of experiences they've had while lacking inhibitions.