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Caribbean Sky

Caribbean Sky

Arcanist
Apr 15, 2024
450
it has been really hard for me to die in the past few months due to feelings I cannot quite explain, not even survival instinct based on how I felt in the past.
For months, I have had worsening symptoms including neurological ones so I thought I might be sick with MS or something that could affect my mind.
I'm worried even if I can get symptom management in the meantime, that that might not totally fix the disillusionment in my mind. It's a complete delusion, and all it is is a spiritual disconnect and fear that I know is a symptom of my illness. I know it for certain.
Can anyone tell me how I might remove this disillusionment? I don't care about treating an illness, even if it's potentially fatal, if I can just hurry up and die already.
I know the reason I want to die and I'm certain, there's just a spiritual disconnect. Please help me to remember why. Because I'm 100,000% serious.
Thank you.
 
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