Discussion Feeling different to everyone else.

[Forever Sleep]

I imagine most people have gone or are going through this. Especially since so many suffer with social anxiety here.

Does it make you wonder though- What is normal? Are there even people out there who just feel 'normal'? Perhaps the 'normal' thing is not to feel so awkward that you feel different to begin with.

If you did or do feel different though, did/ do you embrace that strangeness? Do you like the idea of being eccentric maybe or, not a 'sheeple? Or, has it always only hurt to feel ostracized?

I've had times where I both felt embarassed about it but, also embraced it. A bit like romantic hopes- when I look at the real life version. Real life couples, real life popular people in the in- crowds- it's not like I really want to be them either so, I have to question if I am genuinely that envious. I'm not sure the reality of it would actually suit me. How about you?

 

[Pluto]

 

[JoeProf]

My take is bit simpler. If it happened to me then it is normal. I mean like thoughts or experiences. And it is not stopping me or hurting me in some way then it is normal and it probably happened to lots of others.

Unnormal things don't happen often. So the percentage of you being the odd one out is low?

I am not putting it in the best way but that's what I think.

 

[lovestained]

sometimes i pride myself in thinking Differently to 'normal' people .. but they seem a lot happier too

 

[Rust]

I absolutely agonise over this issue.

It's not being different that bothers me. It's more the lack of acceptance and the judgement that'll follow. Most people are good natured, but they'll still say stuff like "oh wow, he's showing character development" or something similar just because I did a "normal" thing.

That's not to say it's all bad. Some people are curious and want to learn more about me (and maybe fix me). Unfortunately, being a bit socially recluse makes this a bit exhausting.

I understand that most people have their quirks. I guess it's just about the company you keep and whether they'll be accepting.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Most people are good natured, but they'll still say stuff like "oh wow, he's showing character development" or something similar just because I did a "normal" thing.

That would really annoy me too. That's so patronising. Maybe they mean well but, if they thought about it properly, I doubt they would say it like that.

 

[Rust]

That would really annoy me too. That's so patronising. Maybe they mean well but, if they thought about it properly, I doubt they would say it like that.

In the context, it was spontaneous, so you're right in that they didn't think about what they were saying. Fortunately, I know the person, so I know that they didn't mean to say it in that way. But I appreciate you agreeing with me. A number of comments like that, even if unintentional, can get to a person eventually.

 

[vitbar]

It's the same for me as you Forever Sleep. At times I embrace it, at other times it embarrasses me.

The older I get the more I realise how weird people are. There's nowt so queer as folk. I do think part of being normal is not noticing it in yourself, or at least not becoming fixated on it. Social anxiety is bad for this.

Also there isn't only one way to do romance. Think we've indirectly spoken about kind of settling into the idea of remaining single. Part of that for me is realising it would take finding someone who is the right kind of weird.

 

[Unhumanly.]

what is normal? I don't know, I have a hard times to fully comprehend what is humanly normal because in both way, I feel like I'm being perceived too supernaturally able at so many things to be considered human yet in the same time I'm less and incapable at something essentially human to be human, I'm unhumanly, both way

As for how I feel, it definitely hurt to be ostracized from the other, I hate how people always exclude me in social interaction because they couldn't relate to me or just too scared or disgusted by me, yet in the same time I'll be the first one they ask if they're struggling at certain things and expect me to excel on them all, unlike how other are treated humanely and people understand them if they made a little mistake, but it's simply unacceptable in me, it's very unhumanly

 

[Cauliflour]

I don't even bother making friends anymore considering I feel so different to the average. Let me make a list:
1. autistic (main factor)
2. lesbian (affects your perception on things much more than one may initially think)
3. probably smart but definitely not as smart as I think i am although the average person seems to be as smart as a brick nowadays so I guess I'm smart?
4. intj, which is somewhat rare apparently
5. spent most of my life in a private school where people clog up the entrance road with their range rovers
6. have too many damn hobbies
7. with said hobbies, i can't stick to an average style of music or art for the life of me
8. i don't use social media like tiktok and instagram
9. i don't dress like all the other girls my age but i don't dress like the alt people
10. i don't really care about mainstream stuff in general but i don't fit into any of the alt culture bubbles
11. please don't r/notliketheothergirls me, i swear i'm not like that i'm just weird
12. oh and passively suicidal with tendencies to self harm and a cynical view of the world

Like people will talk about staying up until 4 am watching some new Netflix TV show and scrolling on TikTok to find makeup tips on that instagram baddie look and I can't relate to any of that so how do I add to the conversation? Especially because my social skills are dogshit.

Does it make you wonder though- What is normal?

Only Christ knows at this point.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I don't think anyone is normal.
I'm always surprised how many people admit to feeling like they're on the wrong planet. What's up with that?
I recently realized that my place in life is to always be the outsider, the loner, the oddball, in every situation. And I'm what most of you would call "old". Took me this long.
I've always felt different from everyone else as long as I can remember, which is back to around 2 years old (a little spotty that far back).