Feeling aspyxhiated, strangled in a prison i can't leave

[Suicideisnirvana]

I feel as if all the doors are closed for me, i used to take solace and find peace in the certitude that i will certainly CTB soon, but this certitude is starting to crumble when i didn't get my N (almost certainly seized by customs).

I don't even know what other methods i can try

Guns : Illegal in my country, litteraly impossible to find them.

N : Will be confiscated by our extremely proactive paranoid customs.

Partial Suspension : I suck with knots, i don't even know how to proceed, please i found there is litteraly 0 anchor to fix the rope in my house, i looked everywhere, there is nothing.

C0 poisoning : No gardens or close desert place to do that.

I'm getting more and more desperate, which makes me feel even more suicidal and with my inability to find a suitable method it creates an awful vicious circle, fuck this hellish authoritarian scum society that puts us in this situation.

 

[Schopenhauer]

I understand the feeling. I'm waiting for the N. I was trying to be nonchalant at first, but every day I'm more worried about not receiving it. I could order it again, but I don't want to wait so long. This world sucks.

If I were you, I'd do further research about hanging. For a support, you can buy one of those pull-bars. I'm pretty bad with knots too, but there're plenty of good YouTube videos teaching the slipknot. I'm sure that given enough time, we can manage to hang ourselves.