Venting family wont stop making fun of my psych ward visit

[capi]

Its been months and my mom brings it up atleast once a week. And its even worse lately, to the point shes bringing it up next to family guests who don't even know? On Christmas?

Like what the fuck? And its completely random too. I could visit and bake cookies, laughing, then she will bring it up and make fun of me for it

I even told her "why do you have to ruin a good moment and bring something like that up for no reason at all but to make me feel bad?"
And all she can say "im just not living it down,"

Wtf? Like its some embarrassing party moment i did once? I literally almost killed myself?

Now that i think about it, literally one of the sanest person ive met was my psych ward psychiatrist. He was right (though i was stubborn at the time) I almost died. Why is that being taken so lightly? He was so right to get mad at my family. God i feel bad now for the resistance i had towards him!

 

[black money boys]

not tryna justify it or anything but this sounds a lot like your parents trying to cope with that memory… treating it like a party moment and being humorous which is still really inconsiderate and an asshole move, you might wanna have a deep talk with them to let them know how it really affects you

 

[Goyasan]

Your mother essentially wants to punish you for doing something she feels was against her and/or made her feel bad. She knows how it makes you feel, that's why she keeps bringing it up because she knows it makes you feel like shit and she wants you to feel like shit. Now whether this is out of a misguided attempt to make you ""learn a lesson"" or outright malicious nature is another question, but from your description I'm leaning towards the second option. Especially with the " just not living it down". Now you have a few choices.

1. Really sit down with her, explain how it makes you feel, how it hurts you, and how it affects you negatively and that if she doesn't stop it will continue to influence you negatively and that not letting you live it down will not help in you healing your mental health, depression and suicidal ideation. Hope that she has some empathy and understands why bringing it up in such a manner is not okay.
2. Take out the power of her using it against you. Now, I know it sucks and what you did was extremely personal and at one of your darkest moments but if you can at least pretend it doesn't affect you or hurt you. If she's doing it to get a rise out of you, and not let you live it down, she clearly wants to cause some negative reaction and taking that away may dissuade her from doing it because it "removes the fun".
3. Go full spite-mode. If you have shit on her anytime she brings up your psych ward stay and attempted suicide you must bring it up in a innocent, joking matter. Basically, mirror the exact same thing she's doing. If she calls you out, play dumb. Bring up the fact that she's doing the same thing to you innocently and like it's okay.

 

[capi]

not tryna justify it or anything but this sounds a lot like your parents trying to cope with that memory… treating it like a party moment and being humorous which is still really inconsiderate and an asshole move, you might wanna have a deep talk with them to let them know how it really affects you

Your mother essentially wants to punish you for doing something she feels was against her and/or made her feel bad. She knows how it makes you feel, that's why she keeps bringing it up because she knows it makes you feel like shit and she wants you to feel like shit. Now whether this is out of a misguided attempt to make you ""learn a lesson"" or outright malicious nature is another question, but from your description I'm leaning towards the second option. Especially with the " just not living it down". Now you have a few choices.

1. Really sit down with her, explain how it makes you feel, how it hurts you, and how it affects you negatively and that if she doesn't stop it will continue to influence you negatively and that not letting you live it down will not help in you healing your mental health, depression and suicidal ideation. Hope that she has some empathy and understands why bringing it up in such a manner is not okay.
2. Take out the power of her using it against you. Now, I know it sucks and what you did was extremely personal and at one of your darkest moments but if you can at least pretend it doesn't affect you or hurt you. If she's doing it to get a rise out of you, and not let you live it down, she clearly wants to cause some negative reaction and taking that away may dissuade her from doing it because it "removes the fun".
3. Go full spite-mode. If you have shit on her anytime she brings up your psych ward stay and attempted suicide you must bring it up in a innocent, joking matter. Basically, mirror the exact same thing she's doing. If she calls you out, play dumb. Bring up the fact that she's doing the same thing to you innocently and like it's okay.

Yea, i dealt with this woman my entire life. Conversation doesnt work on her.

I do try to just ignore it as much as possible. I know my family's mind games really well. I dont have an irritated front other than what i brung up. I can tell that makes her more aggravated though and wants to pester more about it, but eventually it will lay off.

Its just annoying, exhausting, and sufferable having to deal with someone who essentially acts like a child where they are supposed to be a role model.

And their immature mentality of course has to get a grasp on one of the most traumatic things ive been through and use it against me

 

[Terrible_Life]

I am so sorry that sounds absolutely horrible what parent would do that? How stupid and without empathy can a person be?! You don't need to be Einstein to know that this will hurt your child that this was a vulnerable painful sad moment in the life of your child and you make fun of it?! I'm sorry but this is just disgusting! This can make everything much worse, return traumata by flashbacks etc.

 

[Unlucky777]

She's a bitch. A narcissistic bitch is what she is.

 

[Concorde]

1. This is unconscionable behavior from someone who wants your mental health to be good enough to stick around.

2. I am not in your shoes and I'm not dealing with you or her. But. Rhetorically, if you like. Do you actually have anything to be embarrassed about here? Is an attempt at suicide shameful? Is seeking mental healthcare shameful?

3. Big hugs because I couldn't deal with her behavior but you have. And your behavior is better than that of the woman who raised you.

---

Editing to add that my questions in number 2 are easy to ask and reflect a world I want to make exist but probably don't reflect how stunned I would feel if my mother said what yours said.

In an ideal world where my mom brought this up at gatherings I'd say "Oh, mom. I told you it makes me uncomfortable when you discuss these serious events casually and unkindly, but I don't have anything to be embarrassed about. Except for your bringing this up here."

 

[Jisatsu]

My own family does very similar interactions with me and I've been in wards 7 different times.
Sometimes people don't understand the significance of them and play it off like it was just some small event...