Venting Failure in life

[xaxs]

I've been lying to my parents for a couple of years about my uni. I'm always saying I'm doing fine, and they don't have to worry about it.

Well, I'm barely doing any course work, this semester. I'm only doing 10 credits when I should be doing 30. It's all catching up to me rn. For 3 years I've completely slacked on all work due to my negative motivation to life and everything else.

Should I tell them about this after I complete the last course work for those courses so I've done at least something? I'm kinda scared how they gonna react due to my constant lying. I don't know what they gonna do about it.

 

[Sphene]

I mean, as long as you're moving forward, even if it's at a slower pace - that's something, right? I don't know your parents obviously, but I think most reasonable parents would understand. Have you tried getting any help at all? Seems like you're still young. Depression will turn your brain into mush, and it can be very hard to do any critical thinking.

 

[xaxs]

I mean, as long as you're moving forward, even if it's at a slower pace - that's something, right?

Yeah, I guess. It's just that I've lied about it for couple of years just saying I'm doing good while they're paying my rent and being proud of me

I don't know your parents obviously, but I think most reasonable parents would understand.

Yeah, it's just the lying and everything. I'm also very reserved person so sharing anything like this feels so uncomfortable

Have you tried getting any help at all? Seems like you're still young. Depression will turn your brain into mush, and it can be very hard to do any critical thinking.

I've not. I'm 23, doing 5th year in my uni. Problem really isn't with my thinking. It's just that I lack all the motivation and I get no joy out of anything. I cannot concentrate basically at all. I go months without doing any school work. I just feel so uncomfortable in my body and everything is so heavy

 

[_Vasa&Me_]

Jesus Christ… are you literally me?!?!

I have been doing the EXACT same thing (albeit I have only withdrawn from a course amount that equates to 1 year worth that I managed to lie through them by saying I am taking an "extended" program that is 5 years instead of 4) and the guilt and feelings of being a failure have slowly been destroying me from the inside.

It hurts extra more since my parents have such high views of me… they think I will be making 100k a year minimum, that I am a genius (despite me NEVER praising myself and trying to downplay the praise to get their expectations to reality… which does the opposite cuz they start thinking I am too humble to admit success myself, so they think I am an even stronger individual) and that I will have some super high government position related to my degree that I will be able to influence the country.

Just like you, I don't struggle getting good grades or anything… if I have motivation, purpose, and good mental health, which I have been lacking for quite some time.

Unfortunately I do not have an answer to your question, what I will say is that you know your parents best, and based on past experiences on how they reacted to similar things will tell you whether you should say it or not. Frankly I will probably go through with my lies since there is a high likelyhood my dad will disown me for life and kick me out of the house.

Most importantly I just wanted to say that you are not alone and that there are MANY people just like you experiencing the exact same things, which, hopefully, can at least give you some comfort :)

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

Same. I finally quit the university... I hope you don't go this way.

I was struggling to find the meaning of studying abstruct and complicated things I'd never make use of in the future. Instead I was crazy about my parttime job in a conveyor belt sushi restaurant. I managed to quit the job to study and graduate. Well I couldn't.

I recommend you to use university counseling spaces for students if they exist. In my uni, they were free and the counselor is kind. My autism was revealed there. It'll be not too late to tell your parents the truth after you find your counselor.

 

[xaxs]

Same. I finally quit the university... I hope you don't go this way.

I really hope to find the energy to complete my degree

I was struggling to find the meaning of studying abstruct and complicated things I'd never make use of in the future.

Yeah kinda same for me. I study math, it really isn't that "meaningful", too abstract and faraway from reality

I recommend you to use university counseling spaces for students if they exist. In my uni, they were free and the counselor is kind. My autism was revealed there. It'll be not too late to tell your parents the truth after you find your counselor.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna tell them after I'm done with these in few weeks.

On a side note. Your username "nobodycaresaboutme", what a coincidence. On another forum my username is "nobodylovesme". Never seen "nobody" + something + "me" combo before, lol