drugfiend
drinking plastic jug vodka
- Mar 19, 2024
- 16
Hi everyone,
Last month I tried and failed to kill myself. Kinda wanted to just share my experience, and maybe try to explain why it failed. Well, right off the bat I tried to complete a suicide with an overdose, so that should be the end of it, but I'll give you exact doses.
First, I want to say that I am pretty much opioid-naive (dabbled a bit, never regular use) but have an extremely high tolerance to alcohol and benzodiazepines. I drink and take clonazepam everyday. I had recently broken my ankle while I was drinking, so I had surgery and got prescribed hydrocodone. This is the perfect opportunity, I thought.
I took all the hydrocodone I was prescribed at once, which was 200mg in total. I also used to have a prescription for alprazolam so I decided to add that in the mix, even though I usually save them for when I'm having a panic attack. I took 10mg of alprazolam and 10mg of clonazepam. I was also drinking very heavily throughout the night, and took all these near the end of my drinking. I had drank about 1 liter of vodka throughout the evening before taking the opioids and benzos. I was so convinced this was going to work, and I'm still upset that it didn't.
My experience was very pleasant, even though I did piss myself in my sleep. About 45 minutes after taking all my pills, I started to feel very relaxed, possibly the most at-ease and at peace I've ever felt in my life. I tried staying awake to enjoy what I believed to be my last moments, but that proved nearly impossible. Then, sometime after that I don't remember, I passed out. I slept for about 30 hours straight and woke up covered in my own urine. I didn't throw up or feel sick; in fact I felt very hungry upon waking up. I don't believe I experienced any long-term effects, as it's been about a month since the attempt and I've felt pretty much the same. I feel shitty physically all the time and that hasn't gotten worse or better.
Unfortunately, I did wake up from the attempt. I feel like this method would be amazing if I could figure out the doses that would be right for me. However, now I don't have any hydrocodone left and I feel like I wasted a lot of alprazolam that could have better been used for panic attacks. The urge to die has never felt stronger and I know for certain that I'm ready to go. I just wish it were easier. Anyway, thanks for reading.
Last month I tried and failed to kill myself. Kinda wanted to just share my experience, and maybe try to explain why it failed. Well, right off the bat I tried to complete a suicide with an overdose, so that should be the end of it, but I'll give you exact doses.
First, I want to say that I am pretty much opioid-naive (dabbled a bit, never regular use) but have an extremely high tolerance to alcohol and benzodiazepines. I drink and take clonazepam everyday. I had recently broken my ankle while I was drinking, so I had surgery and got prescribed hydrocodone. This is the perfect opportunity, I thought.
I took all the hydrocodone I was prescribed at once, which was 200mg in total. I also used to have a prescription for alprazolam so I decided to add that in the mix, even though I usually save them for when I'm having a panic attack. I took 10mg of alprazolam and 10mg of clonazepam. I was also drinking very heavily throughout the night, and took all these near the end of my drinking. I had drank about 1 liter of vodka throughout the evening before taking the opioids and benzos. I was so convinced this was going to work, and I'm still upset that it didn't.
My experience was very pleasant, even though I did piss myself in my sleep. About 45 minutes after taking all my pills, I started to feel very relaxed, possibly the most at-ease and at peace I've ever felt in my life. I tried staying awake to enjoy what I believed to be my last moments, but that proved nearly impossible. Then, sometime after that I don't remember, I passed out. I slept for about 30 hours straight and woke up covered in my own urine. I didn't throw up or feel sick; in fact I felt very hungry upon waking up. I don't believe I experienced any long-term effects, as it's been about a month since the attempt and I've felt pretty much the same. I feel shitty physically all the time and that hasn't gotten worse or better.
Unfortunately, I did wake up from the attempt. I feel like this method would be amazing if I could figure out the doses that would be right for me. However, now I don't have any hydrocodone left and I feel like I wasted a lot of alprazolam that could have better been used for panic attacks. The urge to die has never felt stronger and I know for certain that I'm ready to go. I just wish it were easier. Anyway, thanks for reading.
