Every time I hear someone commit suicide...I feel jealous and admiring.

[Defenestration]

And you?

 

[kitkat9234]

Same. I always want to know how they did it. And jealous that they were successful.

 

[Defenestration]

Big jealous...
And often these are people who didn't think about it as obsessively as we did, or for a shorter time... it makes me very jealous... We've been stuck here for so many years thinking only about that, meticulously planning the methods

 

[wham311]

Exactly the same.

I am so fucking jealous. It also gives me the impression that I can do it to I'll just kms but my stomach doesn't allow me to take sn

 

[lukewarmlemon4de]

honestly, to some extent, same. my suucidal thoughts come on and off and i dont think ill ever be brave enough to actually ctb

 

[Already_dead]

I feel extremely envious and jealous of those people. Even of the people who just attempted and failed, because they got to attempt with little consequence. Sometimes I don't even care if I die or not, I just want to get 70% there. I just want to try. It's all I have left that I actually want to do.

 

[Defenestration]

Je suis extrêmement envieux et jaloux de ces gens. Même de ceux qui ont simplement tenté leur chance et échoué, car ils ont tenté leur chance sans trop de conséquences. Parfois, je me fiche de mourir ou non ; je veux juste atteindre 70 %. Je veux juste essayer. C'est tout ce qui me reste à faire.

Same but dear to not die

 

[WhenIBreathe]

I'm most jealous of those that "died suddenly"

 

[kitkat9234]

I'm most jealous of those that "died suddenly"

Same. You always hear about people dying in the news from illness/accident/natural disaster/ murder etc when they most likely wanted to live. Like why not me? Wish I could trade places with them.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

It takes immesurable courage to commit sucide. All who CTBed is such brave souls. I wish the world allowed euthanasia so we can do it with less courage.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand, I always and only envy those who no longer suffer in this dreadful torturous existence as all I want is to not exist, I just wish for peace from this existence I always see as the most terrible tragic mistake that just tortures existing beings until non-existence takes away all anyway, I'd just always prefer to not exist, only non-existence can bring me the peace and relief I search for from this existence and is all I'll hope for no matter what but more than anything I wish I never suffered, I just never should had suffered in this existence at all.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Always very envious of others successful suicides and the courage required.

 

[JFED]

Same. I saw two in the last week and I just wanted to be them.

 

[trencher]

And you?

It really depends on the method they chose. I would really hate to go out with excruciating pain and I feel bad for those who felt unbearable pain during their attempt.

 

[NoHorizon]

I feel bad for so desperately wanting to be them. It would be amazing to just be dead and at peace.

 

[polm]

Yes I admire them too.

 

[3rdworldsadness]

Yes I do too not just someone suicides but natural death too. I feel jealous they don't have to go through pain anymore...

 

[NonEssential]

Same, but I feel more envious towards people who have hope and aren't suicidal at all.

 

[nuva]

Same.
honestly, I really envy people who died in their sleep. The best death.
other cases rather cause admiration, like, "woah, they did it.. Good for them, good for them".
failed attempt is probably my biggest fear, so i'm happy for those who were able to find peace

 

[NonEssential]

honestly, I really envy people who died in their sleep. The best death.

I don't dare say it to my family members, but I had always been very disappointed that I didn't die whenever I had a seizure during my sleep.

 

[nuva]

I don't dare say it to my family members, but I had always been very disappointed that I didn't die whenever I had a seizure during my sleep.

I'm sorry to hear that :((
If it's not too personal, what's the seizure ?

 

[NonEssential]

I'm sorry to hear that :((
If it's not too personal, what's the seizure ?

I got epilepsy, but fortunately it's nocturnal (seizures during sleep) not photosensitive, so I can still see flashing colors without any problems.

 

[HopeToStay]

Nope, i feel sad that their life didn't go as they'd hoped.

 

[Roadrunner]

Add me to the "I agree 100%" list