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S

spinningship

Student
Dec 20, 2022
166
I always stand out when others are celebrating. It brings the mood down for others. The high point of their night is the low point of mine because all I can focus on is trying to imitate them and I'm just not capable of it. I know before I even try that they will spot that i'm out of sync with them and I will ruin the moment for them.

It's why I try to go to lower energy things like boardgames. Not even that was low energy enough for me tonight apparently. Can't even play poker without having to fake over the top laughter at every tiny little thing. I thought you were supposed to have a poker face lol.
 
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Enlighten

Enlighten

I am here for you
Sep 29, 2023
310
I always stand out when others are celebrating. It brings the mood down for others. The high point of their night is the low point of mine because all I can focus on is trying to imitate them and I'm just not capable of it. I know before I even try that they will spot that i'm out of sync with them and I will ruin the moment for them.

It's why I try to go to lower energy things like boardgames. Not even that was low energy enough for me tonight apparently. Can't even play poker without having to fake over the top laughter at every tiny little thing. I thought you were supposed to have a poker face lol.
I sometimes have that too, but not as vividly as you describe it. I don't think there is much to do about it, apart from making yourself more familiar with the people/activity until you actually do like it.
 
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spinningship

Student
Dec 20, 2022
166
I sometimes have that too, but not as vividly as you describe it. I don't think there is much to do about it, apart from making yourself more familiar with the people/activity until you actually do like it.
True. I guess it's just a really vivid and uncomfortable demonstration of the disconnect that's always sort of there. For me I know it's autism related so even if i'm really enjoying something I won't necessarily show it outwardly.
 

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