All seems so lost, or is heading there rapidly. For reference I'm 65, male, unmarried with an adult Professional Son who has a full busy life and no time for me. I live alone in a run down apartment in the southern United States. I currently have no job, havent worked for over a decade at a real one. Although I made a some monry earlier in life, it wasn't nearly enough to live out a decent life out on in what has now become a drastically overpriced high inflaton nation. As it now stands I have no friends, and practically no family. I actually do have two estranged sisters, we've been estranged for neatly two decades ever since our late father's passing. Both my sisters married well, and live well off. I've been told in no uncertain terms that I bring them nothing but angst. One even said that I act as if I'm always the playing the 'victim'. My desperate tone in MHO is tied mainly to my economic desperation and that misery makes them uneasy. Yes, Ive been a tinkerer most of my life, and up until I injured myself permanently I've found a way to survive. I receive no government help whatsoever. Thus I'm doomed if I can't find a way to economically survive. The mere mention of my name, or sight of it on their caller ID I've been told makes them want to run away, thus they don't answer. I havent tried calling them ever since, it's s been at least eight years. I sit alone daily, have chronic insomnia, and Im basically rotting away. Money I've saved is rapidly evaporating, expenses are out of the ball park, and I'm feeling trapped. I've stored many my hopes and dreams in physical forms, as in equipment and machinery I built with my late father, in local storage lockers for the past, get this...30 years. I've spent a fortune harboring them there with the hope I could begin using them to start up a small business. All this stuff there is now very old and outdated. I'd say 80% is virtually worthless. I have no mental and physical energy to go there and sift through the massive amount of stuff. This has been an albatross around my neck, a ball 'n chain and it has significantly contributed in my ruination. Yet I still want to try out my product ideas which I formed a couple decades ago. And from what the current research indicates and I've determined, these products have actual merit in the marketplace and have not been massed produced. ...but still yetI have no small adequate place to try this out, no one to help me as in trusted hands, and no funding to proceed. So it remains a living nightmare.
I see myself on one hand as as a abject failure and on the other as good man, an innovator, and a hard worker when given a task who can get the job done...or so I seem to believe should the stars align. In the meanwhile, the Sun has just arisen this Sunday morn and my day is as empty and fruitless as always. Existing within the confined of this small apartment on an upper floor in this cold concrete building and not touching nature, smelling cut grass, fresh air, feeling the breeze, it's like a prelude death within itself. I have nowhere to go, no one to go with, and the local neighbors here are mostly seasonal, all retired comfortably. They have their family, friends and social circles, and we have little if anything, in common other then maybe age. I should make mention my teeth are falling out and I can't even remotely afford getting them teplaced as these dentists here charging outrageous fees, like $70k. Partials in my case need implants and cost about $25k. It's obscene, and more so outrageous what these dentists charge. It's not highway robbery as their all in cahoots, and getting away with it.
I see myself on one hand as as a abject failure and on the other as good man, an innovator, and a hard worker when given a task who can get the job done...or so I seem to believe should the stars align. In the meanwhile, the Sun has just arisen this Sunday morn and my day is as empty and fruitless as always. Existing within the confined of this small apartment on an upper floor in this cold concrete building and not touching nature, smelling cut grass, fresh air, feeling the breeze, it's like a prelude death within itself. I have nowhere to go, no one to go with, and the local neighbors here are mostly seasonal, all retired comfortably. They have their family, friends and social circles, and we have little if anything, in common other then maybe age. I should make mention my teeth are falling out and I can't even remotely afford getting them teplaced as these dentists here charging outrageous fees, like $70k. Partials in my case need implants and cost about $25k. It's obscene, and more so outrageous what these dentists charge. It's not highway robbery as their all in cahoots, and getting away with it.
