End

[Jason227]

I'm really just fed up with life. I can't understand why I need to deal with such shit. I love my daughter of 4 months old now and she is my world. I don't smile and am a very unhappy person and people avoid me for that, but when I see her happy I smile all the time around her. But my wife is becoming so unbearable. She always says she wants to live in a big house, have nice clothes, and live well not only for herself but for our baby too and I understand that. I don't have a problem with that and I want to do that as well but I need her support. Currently I quit my job in Korea which was a struggle to do. I have no car so I would leave 5am and take the train so I cooluld get work then I would come back maybe 9pm,10pm sometimes later cause my company had me travel a lot. I hated the job but we needed the money and after sending over thousand of resumes to companies in Korea it was the only one we're I got a job offer. Anyways even though my wife has her sister stay at home and help her 24/7 she still complained about her sister and me not doing enough for her. She always puts her shot on her family members and still asks her Mom to come and drive her everywhere. Yeah I understand we don't have a car and things but we atoll live Ina pretty good place and area but still even before our daughter was born she would still order her family members around and ask anything and evfrom her Mom. Her Moms nice and she always apologizes to me for her daughter. It's hard because she comes every week even long before our daughter was born around the time we met and would always do the thing she asked. I can put up with inlaws for you know the occasion holidays and such but every week is too much and it's not that I don't like them it's I'm just so insecure I'm doing enough to please them and get nervous and I know we are all like that at times but in spite of my wife knowing all this she still asks her family for a bunch of favors. I could go on but anyway now that I quit my job due to the long hours and not being around my wife and baby enough she still has the nerve to say she feels I don't do enough and gets mad if I'm trying to work on ym resumes or projects for getting new work because she needs help with out baby and says she can't do it alone. I know it's not easy after birth for women and they can go through depression and her family is thankful saying I saved her because I quit my job and everything but I need her to be strong right now. Moneys getting tighter and tighter and I can't do any work without her interrupting and then I just can't do anything after that when I lose focus. I told her countless times I need her help if we want to survive and provide for our daughter and ourselves wel but she doesn't help. I know she can do it but she gives up easily.and has barely.any perseverance.i have to put up with a lot her shot and Ig as husband's during this time we all do but the one thing that worries me is she's been like this since long before the baby was born and we'd fight everyday. I'm a foreigner with poor Korean skills in Korea by the way and I really don't think she knows how hard it is to live in another country and be so far from your family. She days she's okay ig I get work abroad but we can go 1 month without her getting mad and going to her parents house. These days I want to really kill myself and get it over with but I don't wanna leave my daughter and family. I've also been depressed for a long time I think in my life and put up with a lot so I know this is all not just coming from what my wife is doing but she's not helping. Im trying to improve.myself each day and just try to do good things without remembering but she does thesee.things when im so stressed and doesnt support me at all and gets pissed.....I need to work on myself but i need her support and cise versa but will she get better? Will I get better? Will our daughter be okay? I'm just living day by day making sure.my daughter survives but I don't wanna live.in this world.anymore it hurts so much everyday everywhere. Sorry this is a vent. My heart feels heavier everyday.

 

[nullsoul]

I am Korean.

I was abandoned by my family

I was happy, but I was abandoned because of a misunderstanding

I've lost all my purpose, hope, and meaning

I have to go on a long trip, but now the world can't stand it, but I'm hesitating to travel.

I'm afraid they'll blame themselves later

When I fall asleep every day, please don't wake up tomorrow morning

I hope you get into an accident when you're traveling in a car

I hope you get cancer that's common to others

I want someone to kill me when I walk around

Well, at least that doesn't mean they're traveling on their own, so the kids won't blame themselves
It's a translator, so the word translates strangely

 

[SeekingSerenity]

As a father and someone also living in a foreign country, I can totally relate to what you are saying. The first year or so after having a child can be overwhelming and stressful for both parents, but I don't think it gets talked about enough how difficult it can be for new fathers. Most of the focus usually goes to the mothers (and rightfully so) but we as men can also struggle to adapt to the new expectations and circumstances, and oftentimes without the support that mothers recieve. Living in a foreign country can also amplify any feelings of isolation you were feeling before having the baby.

My encouragement to you is to try and focus on your child and do whatever you can to help yourself through this process. In my experience, after you, your wife and the baby settle in a routine, things get better and it becomes the new norm. Sooner or later your daughter will get accustomed to her daily life and settle in, and hopefully that will make your life feel less chaotic.

As crazy as it sounds, try to also enjoy it as much as you can because she'll only be this young once and the crazy thing with kids is it feels like you blink once and then they are walking and grown up. If you need any support or just want someone to vent to, don't hesitate to shoot me a message. Sending you all the love and support.