End of my rope

[Lowhighlander]

Hello, this is my first time posting here. I was diagnosed with OCD at 15. I get intrusive thoughts of harming others...ive lived with it, got better, then fallen apart during that time. I have been in a blip for months now and I can't cope... My mind is constantly telling me that I'm evil, I'm a monster. Every day I get hysterical and cry, scream hurt myself. I want to die because I just can't cope... I'm not bad, I'm not evil but my mind is telling me . I also have a problem with alcohol which I know is not helping but I'm at the point now where I don't care about me, I just want out and to be free from this. Can someone please give me advice.... It's a long battle and I just NEED to be free.

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

This is not something that should be done in a hurry or impulsively. Often leads to failure. However, what do you have access to? What country are you in?

 

[Lowhighlander]

This is not something that should be done in a hurry or impulsively. Often leads to failure. However, what do you have access to? What country are you in?

It's all I can think about. A way out, an escape. I'm not getting any better, I'm destroying my family, mum and dad can't cope with it. And I can't cope with the intrusive thoughts I keep getting. I feel awful that I can see the impact I'm having on those around me but nothing is snapping me out of it... Nothing. I'm in the UK... I don't have access to much to end my life at the moment but I'm thinking of ways I can do it quickly and without much in the way of pain. This has gone on for 20 years... I'm done. Just can't cope.

 

[PhilosOfDoom]

It's all I can think about. A way out, an escape. I'm not getting any better, I'm destroying my family, mum and dad can't cope with it. And I can't cope with the intrusive thoughts I keep getting. I feel awful that I can see the impact I'm having on those around me but nothing is snapping me out of it... Nothing. I'm in the UK... I don't have access to much to end my life at the moment but I'm thinking of ways I can do it quickly and without much in the way of pain. This has gone on for 20 years... I'm done. Just can't cope.

Oh, you already have a method? Nevermind then, sorry for wasting time. I apologize for everything that has made you have to do this, best of luck.

 

[Antibody246]

Life on this realm is a pain

 

[JacobsCracker]

Anti obsess. Medication is your friend, it will help soften the intrusive images and allow you to get to a place of healing and with therapy they will reduce to normal much less disturbing thoughts. Ride the pain now as best you can. That's all I can say or advise you with. Thanks.

 

[FreedomInDeath]

I understand how you feel OP OCD is torture and you cannot escapr because it is your own mind. I haven't been able to find anything to help me either. It really is a death sentence.

 

[FreedomInDeath]

I did not mean to sound so hopeless. There is a woman on youtube named Ali Greymond that has therapy advice. Maybe try that. And ERP with a trained therapist.