Emotional pain

[setspiritfree]

I was talking with my uncle the other day and I have a cousin who struggles with alcohol and self worth (here here). She just tried to kill herself by stabbing her self multiple times. I don't know all the details but I have felt so much emotional pain I have thought to myself, "just take a knife and start jabbing it in".
Anyway, I told my uncle (and this just kind of came to me) that when the "emotional pain outweighs they physically pain" the temporary physical pain is kind of welcome if you know it is the end of your suffering. It got me thinking that this might be the difference some can ctb and some can not. Anyway, I was wondering what you guys thought about this concept and how many people can relate?

 

[coralreefer]

I don't feel like that. I don't feel as if I have some immense amount of burden and pain, I just kinda hate being alive. I will kms eventually, for a reason I will not disclose, but when attempting before it hasn't brought me any fear. I don't personally feel afraid of death and maybe that's why I know I will eventually be able to ctb. Idk tho.

 

[martyrdom]

I can relate to that, one of my attempts involved extreme blunt force trauma to my skull that gave me an epidural hematoma. I have completely lost any survival instinct and aversion to physical pain, the things I can do (and have done) to myself are unimaginable to most people.

 

[setspiritfree]

I don't feel like that. I don't feel as if I have some immense amount of burden and pain, I just kinda hate being alive. I will kms eventually, for a reason I will not disclose, but when attempting before it hasn't brought me any fear. I don't personally feel afraid of death and maybe that's why I know I will eventually be able to ctb. Idk tho.

Thanks for the input. Hope you find peace.

I can relate to that, one of my attempts involved extreme blunt force trauma to my skull that gave me an epidural hematoma. I have completely lost any survival instinct and aversion to physical pain, the things I can do (and have done) to myself are unimaginable to most people.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I hate that you are going through that.

 

[Forveleth]

I don't feel like that. I don't feel as if I have some immense amount of burden and pain, I just kinda hate being alive. I will kms eventually, for a reason I will not disclose, but when attempting before it hasn't brought me any fear. I don't personally feel afraid of death and maybe that's why I know I will eventually be able to ctb. Idk tho.

+1 This for me.

But I get what you are saying OP. The desire to end emotional pain is a very common motivator for suicide, unfortunately.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Absolutely. That's how SI is overcome. The pain outweighs it. That's how it happened for me, and that's what I've seen others here testify.