Venting Don't even know if all those recovery attempts are worth it

[ImpairedLowlife]

For the last year or so I'm trying to take care of myself the best I can. Taking different supplements, trying to avoid stress and self destruction, trying to socialize and enjoy small things in life in general. I even finally had braces installed after many years of waiting for it and scheduled a very expensive but personally very important plastic surgery for September this year. It's two of the biggest Issues I hate about myself and it seems like it's finally being fixed, which felt impossible for years.
I'm actively trying to do everything to improve my mental and physical state and battle inner demons and self hatred I have, but I feel like I don't know if it's the right thing to do.
All of that prevents/delays me from killing myself and often I feel like it's all in vain. Feels like it's just some sort of cope and nothing will truly help and the only right thing to do is just to end myself sooner rather than later.
I really don't know what to feel or what to do with these feelings.

 

[fuzzypeach]

honestly its very much fake it till u make it unfortunately, i am so proud of u for trying for so long

 

[timf]

It sounds like you have made a good start. There are still some things that might be considered a next step. Things like trying to do something for a younger or older family member or doing volunteer work like reading to the elderly that can help you make an investment in other people. This sort of activity can help take you out of yourself a bit and be a way to develop more social skills.

 

[ImpairedLowlife]

It sounds like you have made a good start. There are still some things that might be considered a next step. Things like trying to do something for a younger or older family member or doing volunteer work like reading to the elderly that can help you make an investment in other people. This sort of activity can help take you out of yourself a bit and be a way to develop more social skills.

My social skills aren't really bad. I can act completely normal in social interactions, I'm just not really interested in that as well as most people. I get what's your idea here, but it won't work for me.