Discussion Does anyone imagine others reactions?

[citrusrope]

This may come off as a little self-absorbed but does anyone else fantasize or imagine how others would react to your death? Like, if I were to kill myself, I wonder how others would react to it...

 

[Namelesa]

I really do like to imagine the pain I would bring to my family if I managed to kill myself. I want them to suffer for creating me and trapping me making it harder for me to get better or die so I think they deserve punishment and so I would enjoy them suffering from my suicide if I was able to see it.

 

[citrusrope]

I really do like to imagine the pain I would bring to my family if I managed to kill myself. I want them to suffer for creating me and trapping me making it harder for me to get better or die so I think they deserve punishment and so I would enjoy them suffering from my suicide if I was able to see it.

Though maybe not in the exact same way, I think a part deep within me is similar. Most likely the resentment that's been trapped within me. I also find myself imagining past friends and how they would react. I know it's fucked up to fantasize my own death and the reactions that would take place but IDK. I'm too scared to kill myself atm so in a way its escapism I'd wager.

 

[Gangrel]

yeah lol thinking about own funeral and how people would react, crazy lmao

 

[TheHolySword]

I'm constantly thinking about the pain and misery I'm going to bring to my loved ones. I know I'm going to scar them for the rest of their lives and it haunts me every day. I'm ridden with guilt but I can't stay for them any longer and I hate myself for it.

 

[Eudaimonic]

I was thinking about it this earlier today. I find that it's best not to, though, as it just makes me feel sad for them

 

[ma0]

I'll admit this is the case for me sometimes. A lot of my friends know I'm a little fucked, but they don't seem to take it seriously, and some people even hate me because of my pro-choice stance.

So yeah, imagining those people specifically reflecting on how they partially contributed to my CTB brings me some pleasure, in a sadistic kind of way...

 

[LostLily]

This may come off as a little self-absorbed but does anyone else fantasize or imagine how others would react to your death? Like, if I were to kill myself, I wonder how others would react to it...

That is what is keeping me here, the guilt of all the pain I will bring down on them.