Does anyone else feel they are past their due date?

[Surai]

Does anyone else feel like they are past a point in life where you should have left already? everyday feels like im just stalling my inevitable demise

 

[dory]

All the time and now I feel like I am just rotting

 

[KillingPain267]

Yes, 10 months, 8 days and 56 minutes but who's counting

 

[DeadNotSleeping]

I had an attempt back in high school that ended up failing. I don't think I've had a truly happy moment since then. Just stumbling and struggling through life since. So yeah definitely.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Yeah. I'm way past expired at this point.

 

[nomoredolor]

it's a strange feeling to have but I've honestly had this feeling off an on for the last 13 or so years. I'm like a Mr. meeseeks I wasn't supposed to live this long and it's getting WEIRD that being said there are experiences I'm grateful to have had in that time frame. Just surreal to me that I'm still breathing.

 

[CantDoIt]

Red flags @ first major depressive episode at 15

 

[TAW122]

Absolutely, ever since my 20's and now into my 30's, closer to mid 30's even. There are many more days in which I always wished I had CTB'd earlier and avoided all the shitshow in the present (and more likely in the future). The potential fleeting pleasures and joy that I will experience is moot because once I'm dead, they are no longer relevant, and it's worth missing those out while avoiding years (decades) of monotony and potential greater suffering than in present day (including old age, disease, and infirmity).

 

[CogitoMori]

Yes. I find myself wishing my attempt as a teenager was successful because more people would've remembered me fondly and thought I had potential. Now nobody cares about me and they all know I'm a burnt out loser.

 

[brokeandbroken]

View attachment 153356
Does anyone else feel like they are past a point in life where you should have left already? everyday feels like im just stalling my inevitable demise

To be honest I think if I had CTB'd already i'd have avoided a lot of pain and missed no happiness or joy. So yeah I think I should've left already.

 

[yumeganai]

Funny enough, I almost died when I was born. My mum said I was a miracle. Kinda wish I'd died then and there

 

[passer-by]

Yes. I find myself wishing my attempt as a teenager was successful because more people would've remembered me fondly and thought I had potential. Now nobody cares about me and they all know I'm a burnt out loser.

Honestly it doesn't make a difference how they remember you. People both love and hate purely out of selfish reasons, in the end it's about them and not you. When they saw potential, it was about a hope of a potential in them, when they berated you, it was about parts of you that reminded them of their own failures. It's all a projection.

You gotta do what makes sense to you

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as I've suffered so much for far too long in this existence I never would have wished for, to me human existence truly is the most cruel, futile burden that just felt like a mistake, I should have ceased existing a while ago but really I never should have suffered at all. I wish I could erase my existence like I never existed as to me existing truly is just suffering all for the sake of it and I find it deeply undesirable to exist in every way, as long as I exist I'll only ever hope and wish to be gone no matter what.

 

[lostintheloop]

Yeah really relate to this

Hugs to all who do too

 

[Lostandfound82]

Most definitely I wish I would have done it when I had the chance now I'm broke and without a way out.

 

[foreverfalling]

In my teens and 20s I've wished to CTB but I didn't quite have the expired feeling yet. There was probably still some hope that things would be better, like the fantasy of finding a soul mate that would make my life complete. Now in my 30s I'm feeling this way. My fantasies are now gone, I'm too old to experiences some things like first love, and now I don't even believe in love anyway. Things I used to enjoy doing are no longer as enjoyable, or I just don't have the time to do them with the responsibilities needed to stay alive. Loneliness is becoming a bigger problem. I'm also feeling like I'm burning out from life itself.

 

[SA1994EC]

Absolutely. I was not meant to be here to begin with. But SI has been too strong for me to CTB.

 

[deadtrace]

Yes. Honestly for as long as I can remember my cope was always "I won't survive past 18" then I reached 18 because I kept convincing myself the next big step would fix everything and it became "I won't survive past 20" . Then the same shit happens again and now I'm 25. Everything keeps getting worse, the next big chance never fixes anything but I still keep making myself think it will.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm 19 years too old. It would have been better if I was never born at all or died early

 

[Darkover]

yes my due date was 20 years ago when i was 18 years old

 

[Hollowman]

Yes

 

[Marcus Wright]

Yes. Honestly for as long as I can remember my cope was always "I won't survive past 18" then I reached 18 because I kept convincing myself the next big step would fix everything and it became "I won't survive past 20" . Then the same shit happens again and now I'm 25. Everything keeps getting worse, the next big chance never fixes anything but I still keep making myself think it will.

Are you me lol cause this was and is still my mindset as I'm approaching my 30s

 

[We Are Angels]

I should've died 2-4 years ago

 

[Surai]

Are you me lol cause this was and is still my mindset as I'm approaching my 30s

Yes. Honestly for as long as I can remember my cope was always "I won't survive past 18" then I reached 18 because I kept convincing myself the next big step would fix everything and it became "I won't survive past 20" . Then the same shit happens again and now I'm 25. Everything keeps getting worse, the next big chance never fixes anything but I still keep making myself think it will.

I would say to myself months before graduating "I dont plan on graduating" "Ill leave before I graduate" "Itll be my last accomplishment" but I never got around doing it. Years later Im still setting new expirey dates for myself and it seems like its just getting worse, its the same for me

 

[lawlietsph]

Every single day.
My birth was a mistake, I never should've been born in the first place.
I shouldn't be here.

 

[depthss]

yes, i know when i was supposed to die, a few months ago. ive felt worse than i ever have since then, it was meant to be me but it wasnt

 

[dazed.daydreamer]

Funny enough, I almost died when I was born. My mum said I was a miracle. Kinda wish I'd died then and there

Same here! I almost died at birth and had serious health issues for the first two or so years of my life. Even though I did enjoy my life up until I was 11 or so, I still wish I had just died then. I would have taken up less resources, suffered less, and I wouldn't have to go through planning and executing my own CTB now. Maybe the grief in that context would be a bit easier as well, although that's hard to say for sure...

 

[Leiot]

I outlived my daughter. Definitely past my expiration date.

 

[waterrrrrrrrrbottel]

Yes. I really should've died in 2019. Since then, i've grown and matured in ways that have given me more reasons to do it

 

[foreverandalways28]

I'm three years past my date. My fiancé took my soul with him when he passed. I'm literally just an empty shell existing for the sole purpose of keeping everyone else happy while I'm suffering everyday. I don't want to be here anymore but can't risk another failed attempt so until I figure it out, I'm stuck here.