this is gonna be a bit of a rant since it's kinda my style but i thank you if you read the whole thing
also i have no idea if this goes here, i feel kinda shitty posting this among posts about failed attempts and the like, considering this is way lighter, but it's still something that impacts my mental state severely so i don't think it's appropriate for off-topic either???
either way,
it's always felt like i have really bad luck. like, impossibly bad luck, like some kind of cosmic force - though i'm not superstitious, religious or anything in that vein - is actively working against me in every imaginable way. i feel somewhat bad for feeling this way, knowing people certainly have and have had it way worse, but i feel like my bad luck isn't necessarily dramatic or drastic - not usually at least; it's a really petty type of bad luck. like, something out there (though, again, not literally probably??) is toying with me, trying to piss me off, to get me to break. i've thought of submitting to it a few times since literally every single thing i ever do leads into disappointment, embarrassment or worse. i can literally never even do the smallest thing without something going wrong, specifically in a way that makes me look like a fucking tool, i can't even put this in any way that doesn't sound tame and nothing-burgery as hell, but i swear, it feels like some cosmic force i have had to put up with my whole life. this is obviously not the sole contributor to me considering ctb, but it certainly doesn't help.
does anybody else feel this way??
also i have no idea if this goes here, i feel kinda shitty posting this among posts about failed attempts and the like, considering this is way lighter, but it's still something that impacts my mental state severely so i don't think it's appropriate for off-topic either???
either way,
it's always felt like i have really bad luck. like, impossibly bad luck, like some kind of cosmic force - though i'm not superstitious, religious or anything in that vein - is actively working against me in every imaginable way. i feel somewhat bad for feeling this way, knowing people certainly have and have had it way worse, but i feel like my bad luck isn't necessarily dramatic or drastic - not usually at least; it's a really petty type of bad luck. like, something out there (though, again, not literally probably??) is toying with me, trying to piss me off, to get me to break. i've thought of submitting to it a few times since literally every single thing i ever do leads into disappointment, embarrassment or worse. i can literally never even do the smallest thing without something going wrong, specifically in a way that makes me look like a fucking tool, i can't even put this in any way that doesn't sound tame and nothing-burgery as hell, but i swear, it feels like some cosmic force i have had to put up with my whole life. this is obviously not the sole contributor to me considering ctb, but it certainly doesn't help.
does anybody else feel this way??
