Venting does anyone else feel like god shouldve given your life to someone less fortunate?

[fizzywater]

My family isn't rich, but we never really struggled financially. I went to private schools, had a bunch of extracurriculars like ballet, piano, singing, martial arts, all that shit. I also had private tutors for subjects I struggled with and for ones I was interested in. Basically, my parents had enough money to let me do the things I wanted. This may not seem like much to some, but I live in a third world where half the population fall under the lower class bracket, so I consider myself blessed and I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about food not being on the table.

But the thing is, I don't know why I was given this life. I don't deserve it. I don't have any special talents or notable achievements. I am unworthy of the money my parents provide me with. The fruits of their labor and hard work are wasted on me, an incompetent and useless daughter. The other day, my friend's younger brother managed to pass the exams for this prestigious university (kind of like an Ivy League for comparison) after studying his ass off for months. But the tuition fee was expensive, so he applied for a full scholarship. I don't know much about the details, but the application was rejected, and he was3 forced to give it up. According to my friend, he locked himself in his room and cried for a whole day. I never knew the dude personally, but I felt as if I stole that opportunity from him. If only he had been born into my family instead of me, he would've had a chance to attend and fulfill his dreams. This life of mine, he deserves it more than I do. Why was I the one chosen? Why not him who had worked so hard, who tried his best? why was i even born, what purpose do i serve, why me????

Does anyone else feel the same way? Like… having a wonderful family and a wonderful life, but feeling like it's all wasted on you because you have nothing special to offer?

 

[3rdworldsadness]

No, my family is horrible and terribly religious, they believe in women should stay at home and women has no right to speak, we struggle with financial and my mom is fucking abusive. If someone gets my life theirlife would be terrible but yeah in healthwise i can give my body to someone to live a life like donating organ but it isnt that possible where im from.

 

[chudeatte]

not really my life specifically, like my situation, but my life as in where I am in society. I live in a first world country, im physically healthy, I went to school, I have opportunities ahead of me. but I dont want that. meanwhile there are severely disabled people, children who are suffering from starvation and abuse, people in war zones, women everywhere who are treated as less than animals who have dreams and aspirations that would do anything to get them, but because of their situations they can't. I feel terrible im wasting life like this. I wish I could give it to someone who deserved it more than me

 

[Dr.Duck]

Yeah my family isn't rich but I live in a first world country and we are definitely upper middle class. I wish I could trade my spot in life with someone who would make value out of it. Cause I just want to kill myself before age 30. I don't deserve the life I've lived. I know what you mean.

 

[itsgone2]

I wish he'd have just given it to someone else. I've only made mistakes. Or maybe let me see what life is really all about much sooner than I have.

 

[kakarot5]

My family isn't rich, but we never really struggled financially. I went to private schools, had a bunch of extracurriculars like ballet, piano, singing, martial arts, all that shit. I also had private tutors for subjects I struggled with and for ones I was interested in. Basically, my parents had enough money to let me do the things I wanted. This may not seem like much to some, but I live in a third world where half the population fall under the lower class bracket, so I consider myself blessed and I'm thankful that I don't have to worry about food not being on the table.

But the thing is, I don't know why I was given this life. I don't deserve it. I don't have any special talents or notable achievements. I am unworthy of the money my parents provide me with. The fruits of their labor and hard work are wasted on me, an incompetent and useless daughter. The other day, my friend's younger brother managed to pass the exams for this prestigious university (kind of like an Ivy League for comparison) after studying his ass off for months. But the tuition fee was expensive, so he applied for a full scholarship. I don't know much about the details, but the application was rejected, and he was3 forced to give it up. According to my friend, he locked himself in his room and cried for a whole day. I never knew the dude personally, but I felt as if I stole that opportunity from him. If only he had been born into my family instead of me, he would've had a chance to attend and fulfill his dreams. This life of mine, he deserves it more than I do. Why was I the one chosen? Why not him who had worked so hard, who tried his best? why was i even born, what purpose do i serve, why me????

Does anyone else feel the same way? Like… having a wonderful family and a wonderful life, but feeling like it's all wasted on you because you have nothing special to offer?

One thing u could try to do with your life is try to help the less fortunate around u you're absolutely not undeserving of the fortune that u have been given and the fact u have a concions that makes u think abt it is enough proof so yeah maybe the type of job u should be doing for yourself is helping ppl in need in someway that u know how

 

[Alpacachino]

It's your parents decision that brought you here, not God's.just saying.

 

[itsgone2]

It's your parents decision that brought you here, not God's.just saying.

Interesting. I suppose i attribute something to God. The soul. I think about them being assigned by God. Perhaps not.
Nothing makes sense to me now.

 

[Redleaf1992]

My brother was severely disabled and died when he was 17. I often wish we had swapped places, as he would have made much better use of the life.

 

[badatparties]

My health sure. My life, absolutely not.

 

[android]

It's your parents decision that brought you here, not God's.just saying.

Even your parents didn't have a say. You could be the product of any other parents. They don't just go to a grocery store and pick your dna off the shelf. Not yet, at least. When we get designer babies and test tube babies, I think parents do become more morally responsible for the suffering of their children

 

[Forever Sleep]

Even your parents didn't have a say. You could be the product of any other parents. They don't just go to a grocery store and pick your dna off the shelf. Not yet, at least. When we get designer babies and test tube babies, I think parents do become more morally responsible for the suffering of their children

Anti-natilist rant ahead- ignore if it's going to be triggering...

They wouldn't be them- if they were the product of other parents though. They'd have different DNA. A different appearance. A different location. Maybe they would have done better. Maybe worse.

But- our parents can have a guess at what they're giving us. I imagine most people know the basics of genes and dominant genes. Both parents having ginger hair say- they can guess what their child will have. Parents may also be fully aware of hereditary diseases or weaknesses in the family but- they choose to risk it anyway. I think parents can at least predict what start they're going to give their child.

They also risk bringing a being here that may develop illnesses slightly harder to predict but- they know they exist and, they still took that risk too. I tend to disagree really. I believe parents are wholly morally responsible for their children. Even if they haven't intentionally harmed them- they exposed them to dangers they knew full well about- bringing them here.



But, I'd say OP- I'm sure your family love you dearly. Academic achievement isn't everything. It's understandable you want to make them proud and it's kind that you wish that other less fortunate people could have had your opportunities.

Ultimately though- whatever it is that's holding you back- I doubt you chose it so- is it really your fault- at the end of the day? Maybe it's hereditary- in which case- it's actually your parents 'fault' for passing it on. Maybe you didn't get the strict discipline that would have been more appropriate to ensure you learnt things.

I think we're encouraged to take responsibility for ourselves and feel bad when we fail. That can be good if it leads us to be happily independent and successful. But then, if we truly can't do these things- for whatever reason, we just end up feeling dreadful.

Regardless though, is it all together reasonable to bring a child here and expect it to succeed- no matter what it encounters? I'm not sure that's a reasonable thing to assume to begin with.

I suppose the cruel part of me thinks it actually serves parents right if their children either have to be or, decide to be NEETS. They shouldn't have had high expectations of them to begin with. Certainly not in this world where I think it's actually pretty difficult to succeed.

We're not exactly a fit race now. Just about everyone seems to be suffering from a mental illness. I don't know whether that's just because we're more aware of them. Whether we are more snowflakey compared to previous generations. But, chances are- it could be a genuine phenomenon. With all the pollution in our environment, it wouldn't surprise me at all if that was affecting all of us. And- in that case- it really doesn't matter as to whether you were born- into poverty or wealth. Chances are it's in the water everyone is drinking! The air we're breathing. The foods our mother's ate while we were still in their bellies.

So- my extremist anti-natilist view tends to be that no parent necessarily does their child a favour- birthing them here. It could so easily go either way. And, if it goes south, it may not absolutely be the child's fault. They may well be doing the best job they feel able to.


But, me personally. No- the circumstances weren't terrible. Maybe lower middle class. But, there was a fair bit of tragedy early on for me- my Mum dying and then very intensive bullying that caused my ideation to begin with. I'm not sure many would end up happy in my shoes.

Also- success isn't everything either. I suppose luckily, my earlier experience in childhood pushed me towards getting lost in art but, it could easily have been drugs or something else! It's weirdly that that made me focus so heavily on art and work really hard to get the career I wanted. Not that it's amazing but, I suppose it's a limited achievement. On the one hand, my Dad is proud. On the other, he complains because I so rarely see them. I'm so often working. So- ultimately, it hasn't exactly made them happy or me ultimately! So- was it even that great?

Besides- it's parent's jobs to love and support their children however successful or not they are- in my view.

What I definitely have felt guilt and anger over was life itself. I was suicidal and happy to die when a manager at work- who had children told us she had cancer. I felt like that was such a waste. I wished I could give her my years.