Discussion Does anyone else feel comforted knowing they already have their method?

[foreverlanguish]

I feel happy and a little nervous knowing I have my method and it's hidden in the house. It's nice knowing I can literally just CTB whenever I feel the time is right, and I suppose a little scary thinking of my family possibly finding it. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Edu Ardanuy]

I know how it is, as for myself I feel it weird, it makes me remember that its so sad that I've reached this point, to hide poison next to me so I can ctb whenever I want to.

 

[idhayam]

I wish I could feel the way that you are. As soon as I confirm my method will guarantee my death, I wouldn't hesitate - and attempt to leave at the next opportunity…

 

[ma0]

I do have my main method nailed down, but it's only really an option during the summer. I haven't really thought that much about alternatives, so I should probably think more about that.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I have my CTB gear next to me in my hotel room. My feelings about it have fluctuated the closer I get to using it. At first I felt comfort, but right now I feel more fear and sadness than comfort. My antidepressents have been fucking with my mood as well, so all emotions feel dull and distant. I know for sure that I want to die, but I may have to postpone it if I don't feel up to it.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

It was at first but now I feel like it's just taunting me, a constant reminder of my daily hypocrisy, that I profess such disdain for my life and repeat ad infinitum how I don't want to wake up tomorrow and how I just want to go, and yet I prove unable to (metaphorically) pull the trigger and make that wish reality, despite it now being fully within my grasp.

 

[Sunset Limited]

I have a completely peaceful method now. I searched for propofol for a long time. When I had completely lost hope, I bought propofol thanks to someone who works in a pharmacy very close to my house. I felt great for 6 months. Then normal. I realized this. I felt better while I was searching for propofol. Because I had hope. Now there is no hope. I think that's how the world works for everyone. Hope.