Discussion Do you want to die because of life itself or your current situation?

[dogemn]

Life has its own inherent weight and suffering, separate from temporary situations. Are you thinking about dying because existence itself feels unbearable, or because of what's happening in your life at the moment?

 

[MyShadow]

Life carries its own weight and suffering, beyond temporary problems. Do you feel like you want to die because of life itself, or because of what's happening in your life right now?

It's a combination of both. I have been feeling this for decades but my current situation and the state of the US right now are making matters worse.

 

[dogemn]

It's a combination of both. I have been feeling this for decades but my current situation and the state of the US right now are making matters worse.

Same for me. Life has always been extremely difficult for me because I'm a very sensitive person who feels things too deeply, but lately things have been getting so much worse for me and I don't know if I'll be able to continue living like this. I hope things get better for you friend.

 

[Dejected 55]

It is both. They can't be separated. Even if I could handle one, I can't handle both. When everything goes to shit, it's hard to navigate or recover. Even if one straightens out, the other is still a mess.

 

[brokenspirited]

For me it's life that's the problem, I find existing so burdensome and unbearable. I'll only truly be at peace when I'm gone forever. Life just feels like a pointless mistake to me.

 

[Lyn]

Both actually. But the second reason is going to be the last straw for me.

 

[MyShadow]

Same for me. Life has always been extremely difficult for me because I'm a very sensitive person who feels things too deeply, but lately things have been getting so much worse for me and I don't know if I'll be able to continue living like this.

We feel things deeper than others, and yes things are getting worse.

I hope things get better for you friend.

Thank you for your kind words. Sadly I think that I have reached the end of my ability to live this life.

 

[UglyLife82]

Good question. I hate the way life itself works, I hate how other humans operate, I hate the very processes that make up life. That being said, if I wasn't impoverished, sickly, unhealthy, mentally ill, and profoundly lonely, I really think I could give life a try. See the good in it or whatever.

If my specific life weren't so bad, I could learn to cope with the other stuff

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Both.
i wouldn't want to live / exist under any circumstance and not just because extreme torture can strike any day but for many reasons i hate life / existence/ existing .

Not just for this reason that something horrible can happy to anyone :
what if i win the lottery today. then i say ok i'll go have "fun" with the money. then in 2 days i get a brain stroke . so then i'll be in constant pain , can't kill myself , get my money stolen and thrown out in the streets suffering in pain. that's just one horrible thing that can happen to any human or other animal with a brain , brain damage from a stroke , aneurysm , blood vesel popping, also from a hemorage from a fall accident or attack to the head. other diseases of the brain alsheimers , brain cancer, dementia, brain eating ameoba many more. this is just a few problems with one organ.

there was a show called monsters inside me

 

[superbfrawg]

probably both? ive been this way my whole life and i dont really see a future where it gets any better

 

[_Gollum_]

70/30. There's one specific thing about my circumstances that's unfixable and intolerable to me, but in the grand scheme of things it's "not that big of a deal" and a lot of people have gone on to lead happy lives after this happened to them. I can't. But I think that even if this thing hadn't happened to me, I still would've ended up suicidal, just maybe at a later date. I've never really had a will to live/seen death as a bad thing, so I think I always would've concluded that the juice wasn't worth the squeeze, ultimately.

 

[nool]

Both. I hate how the world operates. I am incompatible with society. At the same time, I hate my body, my living conditions, my lack of intelligence, etc.

 

[plzoffme]

Both, I refuse to be a slave & I have BPD which makes life even more unbearable.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

Both. Life is a subscription to hell.

 

[popping_candy]

I have a nice life for now but I don't wish to participate in society (i.e. working for a wage). If I don't want to participate and be a drain on society, then I feel I should be allowed to leave it and that would be mutually beneficial.

If I were to experience a sudden windfall and did not have to work then this would delay the time I'd want to exit but I still don't want to live out my natural lifespan.

 

[Forveleth]

Life itself. I am done living.

 

[DontCryForChimp]

Life itself. I just can't see the world or experience things they way everyone else seems to. I feel alone in a threatening world and I understand that society does not exist to serve my own self interests. It just gets worse for me considering everything I am obligated to and the fact I should feel entitled to nothing. I am just a mediocre person who manages to make the simplest of things look laborious.

 

[ginko0]

I don't think one can come to know life in "itself". We're limited to our own experiences, environment, background, family. One can only talk about life the way they see it. But, anyway, both.

 

[12-hour Kitten]

Just like most people here, it's both for me. If my situation was fixed I would feel better, yes, but far from perfect. The future is unknowable so fixing everything now doesn't mean it won't happen all over again, so death is easier. Stop the cycle once and for all (unless you believe in reincarnation, which I do but I hope I'll be spared this time and don't have to come back)

 

[hmnow]

Just weary of life

 

[PixelAngel]

I've wanted to not exist ever since I was very young. I do not exaggerate saying not a day of my life since I understood death has gone by where I did not think of killing myself. The pain of my current situation has changed it, from passive ideation to active contemplation, as it has in past attempts as well.

 

[starboy2k]

both

I wouldn't be poor if I was dead
I wouldn't be unemployed if I was dead
I wouldn't be mentally ill if i was dead
I wouldn't be lonely if I was dead
I wouldn't make dumb choices if I was dead

my current situation wouldn't exist if I wasnt alive. life brings situations and predicaments like the ones Ive been in and still currently dealing with……death solves and eliminates it ALL.

 

[DUDale]

Current situation but life itself is the current situation. I'm over 70 with multiple health issues. Badly disabled and in constant pain. Life is only going to get worse from here. We need another dr. Kevorkian.

 

[Salkak]

I feel I am too weak and burden on others. If I was dead, it would be best for everyone .

 

[ididnotconsent]

Both. I hate the way humans are in general, we are just pieces of shit that go out of their way to hurt each other for no reason. I can't stand being around that kind of ugly. And now with social media, the UGLY is up in your face 24/7 raw and unfiltered. The cat is out of the bag.

When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America, you get a front row seat.—George Carlin

 

[bigjwang]

Honestly I'm just so fucking sick and no doctor has been able to help me.

I miss life but I have no energy and so much invisible pain.

 

[soon4good]

I don't think life itself is the issue personally. I would say that I'd probably prefer to live a "normal" decent boring life with mental health that isn't fucked and anything litereally almost anything over being a worthless, parasitic hikikomori waste of life.

I just go through phases (made worse due to drugs) of feeling motivated to change, wanting to live life etc. and then suicidal and literally unable to function in society. Low testosterone doesn't help. Addictions don't help. Doing nothing doesn't help. Help is sometimes too much work so I help myself self-sabotage to get back to where I belong and feel at home. I've managed to reach some level of success sometimes with somethings in life that give me hope that maybe there is reason to try. But does it just get better like that forever and will I think back in 20 years how I wish I had CTB and how it was all not worth it?

 

[FadingSnowFake]

For me something specific happened which resulted in the world as I knew it ending. Whilst on autopilot, leaving everything behind, I became suicidal. I see life differently now, and since I'm empty inside, life in itself has become pointless.

 

[SentimentalTrip]

Because of life itself. I genuinely do not enjoy living. Even when I'm in a "good" place in life I find that life is unenjoyable. It's tedious and unenjoyable at best and almost unbearable at worst. I haven't been in a good place in life since around the time I joined this forum, but even when I was in that place I still felt deeply dissatisfied with life.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Both really. I suppose it's life's very structure I don't like. Work your arse off to sustain yourself. Do the domestic work to maintain your health. I'm tired of working/ chores basically. How can you have life without them? I suppose, become rich maybe. Even that can't exactly prevent illness and old age though. So, it's more the difficulties that are intrinsic to life that are the problem.