I'd wish to end my existence at any time as long as it means that I'd never suffer in this futile, torturous existence ever again as all I hope for is to not exist, I just want to fall asleep permanently. In this cruel existence non-existence really is all that's desirable for me, I just wish for an eternal sleep free from all pain and suffering where all is finally forgotten, I wish could just choose to end my existence, I suffer so much from how peaceful, guaranteed death is so cruelly denied for me with suffering seen as to force and prolong no matter what.