I once had this conversation with a friend. I suggested maybe the reason we were both so miserable was that we expected too much from life, and ourselves I suppose.
I don't think that's our fault necessarily. I think we're taught to demand things- it's how businesses and advertisers convince us we need to buy things from them. But, I also think we're pushed (maybe excessively) to fulfil our own potential. Again, not necessarily bad. Chasing goals and achieving them can bring us a sense of purpose/ fulfilment.
Weirdly though, some of the most comfort I've felt in life was when I was assured that it was in fact normal to struggle to achieve. That job markets were tough. Even finding a partner. That maybe it isn't in fact all that easy. That some of us will end up alone and, so long as we can live with that- that's ok too.
Almost like a reassurance to fail or at least, not comply to expectations. Or, have the freedom (and sense) to work out our own expectations. I learnt in the world of work for instance that the higher paid, more impressive sounding jobs at bigger companies didn't necessarily make me happier.
But anyhow, my friend thought the reason we were unhappy was because we in fact, didn't expect enough from life. So, I suppose we weren't even trying to get the things we couldn't see ourselves achieving. Maybe they had a point. I was definitely happier when I was striving for things.
It makes me wonder about our era and, other cultures too. Do people living 'simpler' lives suicide less? By that, I mean that they are more restricted in their choices. Maybe they are happier to accept their lot.
I definitely notice that with my Dad. He dislikes things about life but seemingly, not to the point he resents having to do them. Or, even questions whether he'll bother. He still seems compelled to maintain standards.
I wonder also if we are taught to question. It's supposedly how we become free. Why does that person have more rights/ privelages than me? But then, if we can't change those things, does it in fact make us happier or, simply frustrated?
I don't think that's our fault necessarily. I think we're taught to demand things- it's how businesses and advertisers convince us we need to buy things from them. But, I also think we're pushed (maybe excessively) to fulfil our own potential. Again, not necessarily bad. Chasing goals and achieving them can bring us a sense of purpose/ fulfilment.
Weirdly though, some of the most comfort I've felt in life was when I was assured that it was in fact normal to struggle to achieve. That job markets were tough. Even finding a partner. That maybe it isn't in fact all that easy. That some of us will end up alone and, so long as we can live with that- that's ok too.
Almost like a reassurance to fail or at least, not comply to expectations. Or, have the freedom (and sense) to work out our own expectations. I learnt in the world of work for instance that the higher paid, more impressive sounding jobs at bigger companies didn't necessarily make me happier.
But anyhow, my friend thought the reason we were unhappy was because we in fact, didn't expect enough from life. So, I suppose we weren't even trying to get the things we couldn't see ourselves achieving. Maybe they had a point. I was definitely happier when I was striving for things.
It makes me wonder about our era and, other cultures too. Do people living 'simpler' lives suicide less? By that, I mean that they are more restricted in their choices. Maybe they are happier to accept their lot.
I definitely notice that with my Dad. He dislikes things about life but seemingly, not to the point he resents having to do them. Or, even questions whether he'll bother. He still seems compelled to maintain standards.
I wonder also if we are taught to question. It's supposedly how we become free. Why does that person have more rights/ privelages than me? But then, if we can't change those things, does it in fact make us happier or, simply frustrated?
