Discussion Do you still fear in death despite wanting to commit suicide?

[CrazyDiamond04]

Me personally, I still worry about death and it's implications. Logically I know that it's most likely just the complete absence of anything and that it shouldn't necessarily be something to be fearful of, but it's still scary to think about because it's so unknown. Do you still have any fear of death despite plans for suicide?

 

[badatparties]

I think about the billions that have died senselessly, and don't think our existence is anything special. I lean towards our consciousness ceasing to exist. No one know for sure, but we'll eventually find out.

Yes, it's scary. I don't know how scared I'll be till i actually try.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

I don't fear death.... I do fear pain during the actual act of dying... I feel a bit guilty leaving my family with the mess of my life and CTB

 

[BradGuy123]

I'm not afraid of death. I believe that I'll go to heaven. I'm afraid of dying. I had a relative die in his sleep. But most of my relatives have suffered a long time with illnesses before they died. If I ever have to CTB, I'd be afraid that I'd botch it and end up disabled or something. I'm also afraid that I would suffer in the process of CTBing.

 

[Abort!]

I think of death like falling through a trapdoor that deadbolts behind you. Where the abyss leads to is anyone's guess, and is ultimately irrelevant in the end despite that being such an unsatisfactory answer.


Something about it all just feels claustrophobic to me, for lack of a better word. Even if I logically know there is no longer a 'me' - or at the very least my ontological identity - it still makes me pause.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

Not as much as my desire to end my suffering which includes always being afraid.

 

[thefarter]

hmm. i think death will be sort of nice. my thoughts will finally stop racing and i assume everything will just go dark. i mean obviously there's the stuff in the grave too. that part is kinda scary

 

[Sphinxi]

I am terrified of it. The thought of dying fills me with anxiety. I feel all of the blood rush away from my face whenever I think about it, or come close to ctb

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I only fear suffering for much longer in this dreadful, torturous existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, I find it so terrifying how the torture of this evil, dreadful existence can continue for decades longer just for one to face the extreme suffering of old age, existence is the most terrible abomination and I'll always see existence as a mistake.

For me non-existence is just all that's positive, for me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution to find peace from the suffering, torture and evil of existence and the suffering of existing is endless with existing beings tortured in agony every second, all I want is to be permanently unconscious with this torturous existence all gone and forgotten. To exist is the most terrible, undeserved punishment to me and I find it so horrific how humans cause all this harm by so tragically imposing this existence in the first place, for me non-existence is all I've ever wished for, the peace of non-existence solves everything for me.

 

[itsgone2]

I am terrified of it. The thought of dying fills me with anxiety. I feel all of the blood rush away from my face whenever I think about it, or come close to ctb

I must be too. My stomach hurts a lot now

I think it's soon. It has to be. I can't live like this forever. But something violent has to happen in this. I'm afraid of that. I have to be. I don't know what else is stopping me.

I'm also full of rage. I so clearly see how I should've lived my life now and I want to do it and I can't. It's like it's right there and yet it's 1,000,000 miles away.

 

[ScaredCutter]

im honestly afraid of what comes after death, i tend to "imagine" what it looks like when u die and it jist feels me with sm fear. i hate feeling like theres nothing, or if theres something but, not knowing what it is. i wish we could talk to the dead but, that would just scare me more lol

 

[Forveleth]

I see death as a relief to suffering. I am not afraid of it at all.

 

[dalemar]

No, I fear to fail the attempt, no to death.

 

[iamanavalanche]

i used to have somniphobia due to the fear of dying in my sleep. now that i really want to die more than anything, everytime i attempt, i am filled with that same dread. the uncertainty of what will happen after i die, or when im dying, really scares me.

 

[Uncounted1846]

I think it's natural to assign meaning where most likely none exists. I sincerely hope there's nothing after this level of existence. I'm tired - I need a rest.

I don't fear death. I fear the timing of it. What am I going to miss out on used to keep me around. Now? I don't know what's keeping me here most days. Fear? SI?

 

[Lamentice]

No, but the discomfort & pain that will [most likely] accompany it: yes.

 

[NonEssential]

I'm never completely sure about my actions so the fact that it's so completely final and irreversible brings me fear.

 

[lpdsvm]

If one is about to CTB it means they are feeling pain and they might be feeling they could become evil like those people or circumstances they try to avoid. Something like that. So if there is someone on the other side to ask one for CTBing, there will be almost no one to be punished. I feel like this so I follow it. I listen to myself. If I do it right now - I might be responsible and selfish (even though I live alone, I still have a job and some little things).
So no. I am more afraid to disturb hotel or apartment staff.

 

[Forever Sleep]

The unknown aspect of both the dying process and what comes after frightens me. I'm more afraid of the dying bit to be honest. Plus, I figure the post death bit is there, regardless of when or how I die. I imagine I've already done enough to annoy God- if there is one. Regardless of whether I suicide.

 

[kuroshimi]

Although I know for sure that it's only emptiness and absence of everything after death, yet still I'm afraid of what might happen once you gone. I guess it's human nature to fear what lies on the other side.

 

[tunnelV]

Yes because strangely enough I have a strong urge of self preservation.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Not really. I'm afraid of the pain of the rope squeezing my neck. Problem with buying a gun is I won't even buy groceries now. Too cowardly in depression to achieve a painless death. Also I guess I'm afraid of a bad gunshot. Surviving a piece of metal through the head might be even worse than the strangling. Though the odds of missing with a shotgun are miniscule

 

[absolute failure]

Yes. But then again, cbt is not smth one does lavishly. I do get scared of the hanging, but the reward is eternal peace so definitely worth it to suffer 30 seconds

 

[rainatthebusstop]

Yes. I think it's for the same reason humans are still afraid of the dark: we just intrinsically fear the unknown

And depending on the method, a bunch of other stuff

 

[FoxSauce]

Yes and some methods sound horrible and I dont want to jump to let some people traumatized or take selfies with my corpse.

Even with meds or no air seems awfully painful (by no air I mean rope or chocking)

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Sure. But that doesn't change anything, I still need to get the hell out of here.

 

[fuzzypeach]

its the one thing stopping me from ctb

 

[Useless Idiot]

Yes, that's why I am still here. I have been wanting to ctb for a long time. But still I feel scared, so I can't do it, no matter how bad it gets.

 

[badatparties]

Not really. I'm afraid of the pain of the rope squeezing my neck. Problem with buying a gun is I won't even buy groceries now. Too cowardly in depression to achieve a painless death. Also I guess I'm afraid of a bad gunshot. Surviving a piece of metal through the head might be even worse than the strangling. Though the odds of missing with a shotgun are miniscule

Didn't you say you still went to work though?

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Didn't you say you still went to work though?

Yeah. I guess the negative motivation is stronger. I don't want to stand up people who are counting on me.