Discussion Do you lie to your therapist?

[MyShadow]

This past year has been horrible, and so I developed acute anxiety on top of my depression. My now former girlfriend suggested that I get help, so I went to see a therapist (and started taking medication). But, as my situation steadily got worse, all I could think about was ending my life.

Yet, whenever I speak to my therapist, I talk about everything but CTB. I'll talk about the feeling of disassociation, loneliness, my lack of appetite, sleeping too much or too little, how I don't feel effective at work and how my living situation is a nightmare, etc. I will talk about anything to avoid the suicide conversation.

I will note that my therapist is pretty ineffective. I have asked multiple times about creating a plan or strategy that will help me overcome my symptoms and situation, but so far he's done nothing of the sort. He was had people from the crisis center at the clinic call to check in on me, but for the most part, he's been pretty useless. So, I lie to him.

I do this mostly because it's in his job description to help me find solutions and create strategies to help me "get better", although he's failing at that task. What I am afraid of is that he will alert law enforcement or emergency services and they will interfere with my plan and shove me into a hospital where I won't have any autonomy or options. I lie to protect the freedom to choose for myself.

I go to therapy because I don't have anyone to talk with about the painful things in my life, and sessions end up with me complaining about my situation or discussing my current symptoms. But I am not confident that he will help me, so I lie about what I am truly feeling (suicidal, with a plan) and I leave knowing that therapy isn't working and I will most likely end my life.

Thoughts?

 

[kitkat9234]

I stopped going to my last therapist because it didn't help. Looking for a new one. I do see a PNP for my psychiatric medications and she asks me about things. She knows I have suicidal thoughts but I deny having a plan so that she can't mental health arrest me and send me to the hospital. As far as I know as long as you don't have a plan to hurt yourself or others they can't do anything. I'm in the US.

 

[MyShadow]

I stopped going to my last therapist because it didn't help. Looking for a new one. I do see a PNP for my psychiatric medications and she asks me about things. She knows I have suicidal thoughts but I deny having a plan so that she can't mental health arrest me and send me to the hospital. As far as I know as long as you don't have a plan to hurt yourself or others they can't do anything. I'm in the US.

I too am in the US and America is not and has never been kind to those with mental health issues. The thought of being detained in a mental health facility scares me more than death itself, especially now. Unless you are wealthy and can afford proper care, there really isn't much they will do for us except detain us indefinitely then send us a bill that we can't afford. Sadly, it's getting worse.

This is why I continue to lie to my therapist and will continue to do so until I stop going or CTB.

Thanks for the response.

 

[cosimaniehaus]

I've been lying to my therapist for almost a year, and no one around me suspects anything, they seem to think that I'm doing pretty good. Or at least that I'm not suicidal. There wasn't a fucking day since December when I did not think about CTB, I fasted at least 10 times during the summer following the SN method, but I'm still not sure, that my attempt will be successfull, and I really don't want to fuck this up.
My parents accidentally found a pair of gloves and a plastic cup in my backpack (guess the reason why I put them there) and I came up with a funny story, something about gardening and eating outdoors, and they believed me, despite the fact that I had 5 attempts in the past. I'm not even mad, because I love my parents. Such a good feeling that I don't have to worry about this. I almost feel lucky.

 

[unluckysadness]

Yes I lie to my psychiatrist when she asks me if I'm suicidal. I tell her "Oh no, that's not the point". What should I say ? "Oh dear doctor, I am on a suicide forum and everything is planned !". I don't like lying but that's life... I know she can put me into psych ward. So I continue with my lies. I'm pretty OK with that

 

[MyShadow]

I've been lying to my therapist for almost a year, and no one around me suspects anything, they seem to think that I'm doing pretty good. Or at least that I'm not suicidal. There wasn't a fucking day since December when I did not think about CTB, I fasted at least 10 times during the summer following the SN method, but I'm still not sure, that my attempt will be successfull, and I really don't want to fuck this up.
My parents accidentally found a pair of gloves and a plastic cup in my backpack (guess the reason why I put them there) and I came up with a funny story, something about gardening and eating outdoors, and they believed me, despite the fact that I had 5 attempts in the past. I'm not even mad, because I love my parents. Such a good feeling that I don't have to worry about this. I almost feel lucky.

Forgive my ignorance, but what is the reason for the gloves and the plastic cup?

Yes I lie to my psychiatrist when she asks me if I'm suicidal. I tell her "Oh no, that's not the point". What should I say ? "Oh dear doctor, I am on a suicide forum and everything is planned !". I don't like lying but that's life... I know she can put me into psych ward. So I continue with my lies. I'm pretty OK with that

Do you have a plan? What method are you using? I am still sorting that out for myself so am curious about methods.

 

[TAW122]

When I used to go (almost 8 years ago), yes I lie about my (true) intentions for the reasons you mentioned. While there are people who skirt the line between being reported or so, I (would) NEVER ever do so, because all it takes is one misunderstanding or too trigger-happy mental health professional to go overboard and then there goes my freedom, and a bill that I could not afford (not that I would ever pay if I ever got that).

I've always had an anti-psychiatry and anti-psychotherapy stance and continue to do so until mandated reporting is reformed (to at the minimum - only a danger to others, but not to self), which is not coming anytime soon. I've also written many threads before about my stance and explained my reasoning for it.

Anyways, I hope you are able to find peace in whatever you do.

 

[unluckysadness]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is the reason for the gloves and the plastic cup?

Do you have a plan? What method are you using? I am still sorting that out for myself so am curious about methods.

Yes SN like many people here. But it may be another method because things can change

 

[MyShadow]

When I used to go (almost 8 years ago), yes I lie about my (true) intentions for the reasons you mentioned. While there are people who skirt the line between being reported or so, I (would) NEVER ever do so, because all it takes is one misunderstanding or too trigger-happy mental health professional to go overboard and then there goes my freedom, and a bill that I could not afford (not that I would ever pay if I ever got that).

I've always had an anti-psychiatry and anti-psychotherapy stance and continue to do so until mandated reporting is reformed (to at the minimum - only a danger to others, but not to self), which is not coming anytime soon. I've also written many threads before about my stance and explained my reasoning for it.

Anyways, I hope you are able to find peace in whatever you do.

I completely agree. Thank you for your reply and your perspective.

 

[cosimaniehaus]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is the reason for the gloves and the plastic cup?

Somebody recommended gloves for not touching the poison directly , cups are for drinking it

 

[MyShadow]

Forgive my ignorance, but what is the reason for the gloves and the plastic cup?

Somebody recommended gloves for not touching the poison directly , cups are for drinking it

Thank you for clarifying this.

 

[moribundwhispers]

i am a master of trickery and should be revered

 

[westerly_merlin]

I lie like a bad rug!

I am regularly asked if I am having suicidal thoughts and always say "of course not".

 

[MyShadow]

I lie like a bad rug!

I am regularly asked if I am having suicidal thoughts and always say "of course not".

Sounds like self-preservation to me. I just wish that it wasn't necessary because I want to confide in someone else, but the consequences are just too high.

 

[caramelkidney]

i lie often, but a majority of the time unintentionally. my therapist thinks i havent thought about killing myself in months but that is not true. i unintentionally lie about how my week went, saying it was good when it was actually just fine or mediocre.

 

[stink144]

Obviously

 

[LaVieEnRose]

When there is such a steep potential penalty to being completely forthcoming no one can blame you for bot being fully honest. Least of all the therapists since they establish that atmosphere anyways where the threat of intervention is always looming over your head should you be too loose-lipped.

Even if there is a strict threshold to meet before intervention the while topic of CTB in MT experience makes therapists completely antsy and on guard in a way that is not conducive to whatever the goals of therapy are.

It sounds like even if you were more honest it doesn't sound like he would have anything positive to offer you. Maybe you should consider seeing someone else.

 

[Merocero]

I didnt lie to my therapist but i was also in a way better state then... now, i probably would lie about some stuff,,

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I lie now because I got locked up against my will last year for being honest.

 

[VoidBlessed]

I stopped seeing my therapist when my intent to CTB got serious. I don't have anyone to talk to IRL about this stuff and don't want to risk accidentally saying too much just because I want to finally be heard. Besides, my therapist has nothing to offer me anymore. She's solidly in the "all life is good life, no matter how awful" camp. I'm not paying her to be gaslight lmao.

 

[amerie]

I had to lie in therapy bc my parents forced me to go and I couldn't disclose their abuse and when I did they called CPS and I had to stop going

Therapy is pointless tbh, they just give you advice and a space to talk which is something you could find anywhere, and if you're "too honest" they'll send you to the gulag.

 

[nuva]

honestly, but I just wouldn't go to a specialist. Not only because I don't want to.
I don't know about others, but in my country there is a high risk of being hospitalized if you plan to do something to yourself, and I'm afraid to take that risks. I just don't see the point in paying money if I have to lie about what I think.

 

[FoxSauce]

At the beginning yes but try not too now

 

[enough of this]

I HAVE lied to my therapist - lies by omission. I make certain to not tell her about my plans to CTB. Therapists are legally mandated to report such things to specific organizations, even if they don't want to. It could cost them their license if they don't comply. And then, once I'm in inpatient or some psyche ward, whatever freedoms I had are taken away from me, and I'm at the mercy of whatever they choose to do. I DO NOT NEED DRUGS. But that's most likely not how they would see it. Their mechanistic views and practices would overshadow any spiritual issues. They would decide my brain chemistry needs fixing, and of course, they would have the drugs to fix it. The whole system is barbaric.

 

[tapetum_lucidum]

I don't lie but rather just not tell her certain things. I rarely discuss any suicidal thoughts, I haven't mentioned my alcoholism at all, and I'm hesitant to tell her when I've relapsed on SH. Maybe it's my own fault I'm not getting better. I don't know what I'm so scared of