Do you know why you are the way you are?

[Username1359751]

Can you identify the reasons for who you are?
I just wondered how many are in tune with themselves vs not. Whether you like or are proud of yourself doesn't really matter. For me, I only have theories as to why I am, myself. It's that much harder to find your ghosts, let alone know how to fight them.

 

[peaceandlove]

I was very in tune with myself. But I haven't always known. Not until I recovered some repressed memories. It doesn't help me "fight my ghosts." It just adds to them. Or changes maybe. Instead of trying to understand what's "wrong" with me, I'm trying to understand what's wrong with other people.

 

[rozeske]

Imagine walking around in your home blindfolded, bumping at things? That is what my self understanding feels like others seem to have more clue than I do and turns out they are mostly right.

 

[daley]

I used to blame my parents, specifically my father, He was kind of a bully, and I thought I was
withdrawn because of him. However, I have two siblings and they turned out perfectly fine.

I know that my mother had postpartum depression when she had me. Of course,
I don't remember anything of that, and I can imagine it had an effect on me, but I don't
know how.

I used to be very angry at my parents, but they are dead. I managed to forgive them,
move on, and just live as best as I can.

 

[derpyderpins]

I think I've got a decent grasp these days. Childhood with stressful mom, neurodivergent, edgy, yada. You know my deal by now. Learned a lot recently so maybe that could mean there's much more still to find out.

 

[Username1359751]

Imagine walking around in your home blindfolded, bumping at things? That is what my self understanding feels like others seem to have more clue than I do and turns out they are mostly right.

More clue about you or themselves?

I used to blame my parents, specifically my father, He was kind of a bully, and I thought I was
withdrawn because of him. However, I have two siblings and they turned out perfectly fine.

I know that my mother had postpartum depression when she had me. Of course,
I don't remember anything of that, and I can imagine it had an effect on me, but I don't
know how.

I used to be very angry at my parents, but they are dead. I managed to forgive them,
move on, and just live as best as I can.

Idk the sex of your siblings, but that can play a role, as well as birth order. My mother was under an insane amount of stress when she had me, and I wonder if that bathed my brain in too much serotonin during pregnancy, further predisposing me to depression. Wonder if that or a similar mechanism happened to you as I'm assuming there was a breast-feeding period, so through the transference of milk. Sorry to be graphic. Also maybe she backed off of contact and you were then kept more by your father and the rest of your family. That's a crucial period for baby-bonding and I've read (and forgotten) the effects the lack of physical contact and temperament of the mother during infancy can have on the baby and the bond between the two later on.

Then again relationships can be mended. I forgave my mother in my early adulthood. Never thought I would but some people do change.

 

[rozeske]

More clue about you or themselves?

Me, unfortunately.

 

[pain6batch9]

I'd be here all night trying to explain it. But mostly, yeah I think I've got it figured out.

 

[Gangrel]

I'd be here all night trying to explain it. But mostly, yeah I think I've got it figured out.

it's cause u eat beans on the toast man

 

[pain6batch9]

it's cause u eat beans on the toast man

With HP Sauce!

 

[nux_walpurgis]

My parents. They ruined me

 

[Davey40210]

Same here. My parents f*d me up. I am sure if I was raised in a loving family I would have come out well.

That being said I do think I have some kind of mental deviation. Like autism. But only a bit, I think.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm not fully sure but I think it's due to my neurotype. I'm neurodivergent and I blame my brain for me being me right now

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I have severe PTSD from being sexually abused by my dad as well as emotionally abused by my mom. I'm also autistic.

 

[Ironborn]

Mild autism, anxiety, ocd.
Religious nutjob mother and indifferent father.
They were also weirdly overprotective of me, despite wanting me to be quiet and out of the way they never let me go outside with the few friends I had.
Surprised I'm not a serial killer tbh.