Discussion Do you feel like you will do ctb this year?

[human909]

I was expecting to do it last year in 2024 but sadly every attempt i tried was a failure. I will try to do it again this year by planning ahead since i joined this site recently. Do you think you will do ctb this year? let me know!

 

[GoSan1]

I know what you mean, will probably do it this year though. My mental capacity can't carry on. I have fallen back to Lust as a coping mechanism, even though I hate it. I'm going crazy and seeing how things aren't changing for anyone here besides some lucky souls crushes me more than anything.

Sorry to see you in this situation as well.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I've been preparing for two years and my mind has only been on that. I suffer from health issues and have lost weight just for this…I think constantly about this and am okay with having heart attacks despite how uncomfortable it feels and everyday I only read about this one thing that makes me excited to not be around. I wanna feel sick everyday or feel something and pass out knowing I can't feel a thing. I'm excited when I go get my meds… What do you think, lol? Yes, in 2025! Plus, I've been manifesting it too

I know what you mean, will probably do it this year though. My mental capacity can't carry on. I have fallen back to Lust as a coping mechanism, even though I hate it. I'm going crazy and seeing how things aren't changing for anyone here besides some lucky souls crushes me more than anything.

Sorry to see you in this situation as well.

The reality is the hardest part because we're stuck in a hellish world that gives a craps ass about our emotions and our wellbeing…

I was expecting to do it last year in 2024 but sadly every attempt i tried was a failure. I will try to do it again this year by planning ahead since i joined this site recently. Do you think you will do ctb this year? let me know!

I say give your chance some grace as failing hurts but every chance you take does affect you so keep trying as I know it does help you when your body gets hurt and can no longer heal and how someone who has been wanting out finally ctb in 2024 on Reddit

 

[GoSan1]

The reality is the hardest part because we're stuck in a hellish world that gives a craps ass about our emotions and our wellbeing…

And exactly that reality is one I do not want to accept, people saying "it is what it is" is the most painful thing I can hear and think about. Just gruesome and cruel.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

And exactly that reality is one I do not want to accept, people saying "it is what it is" is the most painful thing I can hear and think about. Just gruesome and cruel.

And they wonder why we rather off ourselves… especially hearing to face our problems too, and even that isn't easy…

 

[StarCaller'sStaff]

It is looking like it will happen this year for me too. I hope I can change my mind, but it's very difficult

 

[CogitoMori]

Someone accidentally stopped my June attempt, but I think this month is a better time for it anyways

 

[chandxoxo]

i had my failed attempt with thyroxine 6 years ago ... i got therapy forcefully by school authorities and I was delusional enough to think life had something for me but I've slowly come to accept my fate.... so I'll do this year during my end semester ... I'm open to suggestions meanwhile I cut myself and starve

 

[ramon]

I'm planning to CTB this year BUT I'm not counting on it.

This is my first attemp and, from what I've read in this forum, successful first attempts are very few.

 

[CogitoMori]

I'm planning to CTB this year BUT I'm not counting on it.

This is my first attemp and, from what I've read in this forum, successful first attempts are very few.

I didn't know that. Kinda makes me feel better about the failed attempts. Always just had the mindset of, "Great, I can't even do this right."

 

[ma0]

I think it's pretty likely, but I still have to prepare myself mentally.

 

[Peace2peace]

Most definitely my life is not any better

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish I did have the option to just permanently cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again but of course I continue to be enslaved in this torturous, undesirable existence, I'd personally be long gone if I had the option to peacefully free myself from this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake and never exist ever again but I'm cruelly denied such as after all I exist in this horrific world where all suffering is seen as to force and prolong no matter what until death takes away all anyway. I wish I could just have a death like falling into an eternal dreamless sleep without any risks of trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse torture, as eternal sleep where this existence is all forgotten about is all I could ever see as desirable, I suffer so much from being burdened with this cruel, futile existence I never would have chose in the first place.

 

[LostLily]

I'm still waiting for my bottle of Sn to arrive. I promised myself that I won't even consider it until September . If I still want to ctb by then, I will put my plan into action

 

[[Snusmumriken]]

I just got my sn today and I'm gonna try to finish my preparations this week. Unfortunately I cant control the date of my exit. Hopefully I'll be gone before summer.

 

[chandxoxo]

I just got my sn today and I'm gonna try to finish my preparations this week. Unfortunately I cant control the date of my exit. Hopefully I'll be gone before summer.

i want details man .... good for you...

 

[SmilingNoMore]

And exactly that reality is one I do not want to accept, people saying "it is what it is" is the most painful thing I can hear and think about. Just gruesome and cruel.

Agreed, hate the saying "it is what it is". Makes my skin crawl or my blood boil..
I honestly don't know. The year is just blackness to me still. Like I don't see me in this year yet, no clue if I'll be around till the end. Future seems blank.

 

[GoSan1]

Agreed, hate the saying "it is what it is". Makes my skin crawl or my blood boil..
I honestly don't know. The year is just blackness to me still. Like I don't see me in this year yet, no clue if I'll be around till the end. Future seems blank.

Good to see I'm not alone on this. (Well not good as in we are in this situation, but as in I'm not the only one thinking this way)

I've seen many people just accept that which makes me really sad, but I also know that nothing is changing so I understand them.
Why even come to exist if things are like this?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes. I feel at relief due to it

 

[[Snusmumriken]]

i want details man .... good for you...

I would prefer to die in my own bed and, since there's always someone awake in my house, the only opportunity i get is when my entire family leaves to go to some party for the day, which only happens a few times a year.

 

[chemicalburns]

I've been telling myself that for three years now: '202* gonna be my year!'
It used to make me feel better. Knowing I was going to die soon somehow made my anxiety go away. But during the last holidays, I realized how pitiful and bleak my life is compared to others'. None of my coping mechanisms work anymore, and it's all a burden too heavy for me to bear.
So, yeah. 2025 gonna be my year.

 

[human909]

Good luck to everyone who is ctbing this year!

 

[Hahem]

I honestly can't imagine hanging on for another year. I really can't. I think this will be it. Last semester I was already struggling so much just to get by, and now? I don't think I will be able to do it. I just need to get the courage to push through the fear and finally catch my bus. It is more than late at this point. All in due time.

 

[Ariii]

Hopefully! I'm planning for sometime in March right now. Last year I planned to CTB in February, but it was more like an attempt at an attempt. I was too fatigued to even set it up that day and I spent the entire day in bed. On some level I'm glad I didn't go through with it because it was very poorly planned and I hadn't even tested it, and I was one if the worst emotional dumps in my life. This time, my mood is a lot more stable, I'm actually going to plan it out and make sure it will work

 

[ren4215]

i certainly hope so. i'm tired of feeling like i'm the problem in everything and with everyone. i'm trying really hard to prepare to ctb this year and i pray every night that i succeed. i wish you the best of luck in your situation and that you find the peace you deserve.

 

[piger]

I expected to last year. Around my birthday (which is coming up) I had people around me, but I also knew that it would be the last decent one, if not the one I would celebrating. I've been out of work for a few months and will likely just CTB without doing any other fancy tricks this year.

 

[itriedinthislife2]

I'm planning to CTB this year BUT I'm not counting on it.

This is my first attemp and, from what I've read in this forum, successful first attempts are very few.

unless with a gun lol

 

[SadRatQueen]

I fully plan on ctbing either this month or the next

 

[itriedinthislife2]

depends how bad my life gets this year or better. im in control of that and ill do everything i can to get myself out of a rut but if i cant handle it anymore i got a 12 round 9mm with hollow tips that will take me out surely, no attempts lol

I fully plan on ctbing either this month or the next

method?

 

[banger12]

I'm expecting to and excited to. I recently figured out some stuff and know that I can probably get my preferred method and I have a timrframe as to when I'll do it. Now I just need to figure out how I'll over come SI, fear and Cowardice so I can make myself despite hesitation.