Honestly, I'm easily forgotten so don't have to do the burning. With my online friends, I just slowly disappear until they forget about me. I used to have a bunch of online friends who I talked to every day, sometimes for hours a day. But now I only talk to one, and that's maybe once every couple of weeks. It does make me sad, and I kinda miss the old days but I can't go back to that. I'm not the same person they met 5 years ago.
And for my real life friends? I don't know what it is, but they leave me after a while anyways. I don't know why. I'm autistic, it's probably something I say or how I act or maybe something I don't say or do. No one will tell me what it is, so how am I supposed to change? I give up trying to make friends in real life, it's easier for me in the end.
Last time I attempted to ctb, I tried to cut off my family and even my dog. I hated myself for it because I could see that it hurt them, but I thought I would be dead soon, so it didn't matter anymore.
