whenever I get really sad, especially after like ruining a friendship or fucking everything up again, like I typically do a lot, I will leave all servers I'm in, remove all social media, and then try not talking to anyone at all, for as long as I can.
I do it because well one it hurts, but two it makes me feel like I'm at least doing SOMETHING to help those I've hurt and potential new people I will hurt, not only am I removing myself from peoples lives and view while I'm going through shit, but I'm also not there to hurt anyone or spew any more venom,
honestly, my goal before was eventually one day moving far away from any form of civilization humanity or people and then living alone, but at that point why not die, the only reason I chose that and not the other is cus of a promise I made, but hey promises never last cus "things change" as everyone else says.
but this site doesn't seem like self harm to me, granted, I only created an account yesterday, but I lurked here for a bit before that, to see what it was like and how people where and also just some of the stuff that showed under "Recent posts" made me click.
the site seems more like a place to actually be honest and let your feelings out and talk about things you otherwise would be told "go away" "Get a therapist" "just do it already" or something else.
even in "venting" or "mental health" places, talking about the things which you can here, would get you either banned, removed, told not to, asked to not talk about it, be told it's a bit much, have it deleted, be told to get a therapist, get posted a stupid hotline (which btw, I've called, they hung up on me eventually lmao)
or ignored and not even know if anyone saw it.
while maybe some people are fine with only ever getting told "go away get a therapist" or "well sucks if you die bye bye" then never talking to you again because they "can't handle it" or anything else, but I'm not and this site seems like the place that allows you to talk.
but I haven't been here long enough to really talk I suppose, but I don't come here to self harm, I'd use isolating myself, for digital self harm.