To be honest, I care less and less about other people's emotions, even if it sounds a bit selfish (it is). It's a very curious thing, because my whole life I was someone who was quite cheerful and full of empathy for everyone, despite people always treating me like absolute shit. Since the pandemic, however, something happened inside me; I started depending 100% on internet relationships, to the point of causing a lot of emotional pain to my mother by breaking her trust and stopping all real-life relationships.
I've now spent practically two years without leaving my house (the day before yesterday was literally the first time I stepped on grass after all that time). What I found most curious is that my family was never concerned about my state of mind during all this time —they didn't even ask. They just assumed I was fine because I tend to fake happiness quite a bit [I don't know how normal it is for your son not to even see the sun for that long(?)].
Right now, I feel very empty,. as if my 'self' has vanished, never to return. The only reason I'm still standing is thinking about my childhood
This Christmas will be my last, btw. I'll try to "enjoy" it as much as I can, and next month my family will find me hanging and freed from this prison called my body
Pd: sorry if my english isn't very good; my native language is spanish
I've now spent practically two years without leaving my house (the day before yesterday was literally the first time I stepped on grass after all that time). What I found most curious is that my family was never concerned about my state of mind during all this time —they didn't even ask. They just assumed I was fine because I tend to fake happiness quite a bit [I don't know how normal it is for your son not to even see the sun for that long(?)].
Right now, I feel very empty,. as if my 'self' has vanished, never to return. The only reason I'm still standing is thinking about my childhood
This Christmas will be my last, btw. I'll try to "enjoy" it as much as I can, and next month my family will find me hanging and freed from this prison called my body
Pd: sorry if my english isn't very good; my native language is spanish
