dae's suicide method become their hyperfixation?

[a-fond-farewell]

curious if anyone else can relate.

my chosen suicide method was bridges, so i researched all i could about it (thanks PubMed and Google Scholar!!) so obsessively that it eventually just became one of my genuine interests. like i'm genuinely in love with bridges now, even when i'm not suicidal. it's genuinely a passion of mine that was brought about a rather dark way.

trains also became another one, albeit less strong though.

is it just because i'm autistic or do other people actually experience this?

 

[jewelxxet]

yup same thing happened to me with ropes the first knot i learned was hangman's and i kept doing it repeatedly now i know how to do it from memory and i just like trying out different knots even tho hanging is not an option i like anymore i'm deciding between SN or CO poisoning

 

[monetpompo]

honestly in the short time i was researching guns(i can't legally buy one at 20), i actually thought learning about revolvers and shotguns and looking at gun market listings was kind of fun. i liked watching videos about guns and learning the details of gun suicide (how you point it, what gun is the most efficient, the lethality rate). my friend was super disturbed though lol. i told him that i can't legally buy a gun because i checked with the gun shop people but he still thought i bought one.

i think that guns are still pretty cool. i would like to own one and shoot one if i could, since prior to suicide i saw guns as too masculine for me to be interested in. there's a lot of hunter and war vet stereotypes in texas, as well as conservatives that care way too much about concealed carry. i've never held a gun or looked at one irl either. i learned about guns before i made an account. i got pretty disappointed when i realized i couldn't buy a gun until i turned 21, since i had learned a lot about them already. hanging is my current method but it's way more boring. tying knots is pretty fun when i realize the right way to do it after struggling over and over again, but i'm not that interested in it.

 

[waistcoat]

i think ish? i was already interested in overdoses but deciding on my method made researching everything more fun