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atlanticus0_0

Member
Oct 3, 2025
77
i keep wanting to ctb and then not doing it becuz i get scared im actually ctbing this time
basically im going to suffer for eternity unless i die before a certain unknown date so in case i dont make it please come to look for me in the afterlife.
 
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Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
2,156
No one is going to suffer for eternity.
 
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rs929

Warlock
Dec 18, 2020
747
According to the voices, where is the place where you would suffer eternally? Is it hell?
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Visionary
May 10, 2025
2,187
however you decide,
I hope everything goes well for you
and you find the peace you deserve πŸ«‚:heart:
 
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atlanticus0_0

Member
Oct 3, 2025
77
According to the voices, where is the place where you would suffer eternally? Is it hell?
its like i tortured people in my past life so they want revenge on me
 
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Dr.Duck

Dr.Duck

Confused
Nov 29, 2025
70
Hope everything goes well and no one prolongs your suffering. I'll be happy to talk to you when I meet you there eventually.
 
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ummagumma

ummagumma

Member
Jan 11, 2024
50
talk to your psychiatrist before you do anything πŸ’” thats not your informed decision, thats psychosis. it can get better, you wont suffer for eternity, you deserve to live
 
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rs929

Warlock
Dec 18, 2020
747
its like i tortured people in my past life so they want revenge on me
How can you tell the voices are not evil and encouraging you to CTB when you don't deserve to die?
 
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atlanticus0_0

Member
Oct 3, 2025
77
How can you tell the voices are not evil and encouraging you to CTB when you don't deserve to die?
i also saw hallucinations that was literally glowing moving solid images that covered my field of vision that i can turn on and off which is unusual even for schizophrenia
 
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natori

natori

ι‡‘ζœ¨ηŠ€
Nov 26, 2025
105
Hope you find your peace in your choice, safe travels my friend.
 
Last edited:
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rs929

Warlock
Dec 18, 2020
747
i also saw hallucinations that was literally glowing moving solid images that covered my field of vision that i can turn on and off which is unusual even for schizophrenia
Yeah that's not a typical hallucination. Did you tell your doctor about that?
 
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atlanticus0_0

Member
Oct 3, 2025
77
i did he said its psychosis
anyways will ctb in a few minutes
 
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rs929

Warlock
Dec 18, 2020
747
i did he said its psychosis
anyways will ctb in a few minutes
Look this is a pro choice forum and we don't discourage people from CTB if that's what they want to do. But in your particular case, as a 19 years old hearing these voices that tell you to CTB, I think you should give this more thought. But there's nothing I can do to stop you if you move forward.
 
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Terrible_Life

Arcanist
Jul 3, 2025
447
I am absolutely pro choice but please psychosis is a very difficult thing so please wait I would say. Wait until at least you feel little bit better and then make the decision. Really I don't wanna insult anyone here we all have the freedom to make our decision but doing it during a psychosis is like as if I'd make the decision while being on extreme drugs or so extremely drunk that I can't even walk any more.
 
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outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,925
You should never give up on anything at 19--My brother was in a mental hospital at your age for 6 months, bipolar, and he thought a man with a gun was after him, it took eight orderlies to calm him down--After taking Lithium, he eventually became employed as a printer and was accepted at Vet School at 29, then became a successful doctor of veterinary medicine at 33
 
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Dr.Duck

Dr.Duck

Confused
Nov 29, 2025
70
What's you're method?
Also, are you currently medicated for said psychosis?
I think it's fent they made a post saying they found a source but didn't have money. I guess they found the money.
 
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atlanticus0_0

Member
Oct 3, 2025
77
my merhod is fentanyl, i am cutrenylt medicated
its taking so longggggg
 
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R

rs929

Warlock
Dec 18, 2020
747
my merhod is fentanyl, i am cutrenylt medicated
its taking so longggggg
Do you have someone you can trust? Family member? Friend? I think you shouldn't go through all this alone
 
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Chiyumine

Chiyumine

Member
Nov 29, 2025
23
i keep wanting to ctb and then not doing it becuz i get scared im actually ctbing this time
basically im going to suffer for eternity unless i die before a certain unknown date so in case i dont make it please come to look for me in the afterlife.
You'll be missed, if not here, then wherever you find peace.
 
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HangMan123

Student
Nov 13, 2025
140
my merhod is fentanyl, i am cutrenylt medicated
its taking so longggggg
I assume you took it already, then?
The best I can do now is to wish you a farewell. I hope it's painless. ❀️
 
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Firefly.Forest

Firefly.Forest

Student
Aug 28, 2025
183
OP, many are concerned about you including me. Wish I had something more to contribute-you are in my thoughts.
 
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ummagumma

ummagumma

Member
Jan 11, 2024
50
op, how are you? are you still here? were worried about you... wish you luck
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,142
I hope you find peace.
 
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schatzbunny

schatzbunny

𝐑𝐞π₯π₯ 𝐒𝐬 𝐨𝐭𝐑𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩π₯𝐞
Nov 21, 2025
43
op update if you're with us :(
any way to confirm if they r okay or gone?
 
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natori

natori

ι‡‘ζœ¨ηŠ€
Nov 26, 2025
105
op update if you're with us :(
any way to confirm if they r okay or gone?

Last seen online yesterday at 10:05 pm (22:05 24h format).

As written in their last post in thread 'does anyone want to chat while. i ctb?' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/does-anyone-want-to-chat-while-i-ctb.225776/

They were smoking fentanyl, which is highly unlikely that they're still around, unless they had an already high opiate tolerance. Of course time will only tell if they come back online or write another post.

I hope they are okay wherever they are or have found peace.
 
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