I have decided to end my life. I am not ready to do it immediately but am trying to make a permanent plan that I can execute sometime within maybe a 6-month period. I do not want to slit my wrists or hang myself, as those seem needlessly messy or painful ways to die.
I've gotten very frustrated because some plans and/or methods are too precise and require more smarts than I have. Plans I am capable of tend to have a very low rate of success, and I do not want a botched suicide attempt with brain damage or stomach pumping or any of that. I would like to find someone capable and discreet to assist me, but that is very dangerous. I do not know who to trust that would not report me, and I also do not know who would be willing to put themselves in jeopardy legally to help me.
NEMBUTAL:
I would like to go nonviolently and painlessly, so I first considered Nembutal, but I do not want to order it online and risk being fined or jailed.
GUNSHOT:
I have considered a gunshot to the head, however, A) this can still fail, B) I cannot legally procure a gun C) I know nothing about guns or how to use them, D) I do not want to leave a mess or disturbing situation for anyone who finds my body.
EXPLOSIVES:
I looked up explosives because they are quickly lethal, but I couldn't find any information and pretty much all of it had to do with terrorism. I assume they're illegal anyway. If I could procure some I could just blow myself up in a field. But I don't think this option is going to really pan out.
CYANIDE:
Apparently I may be able to obtain cyanide, and that is not a legal worry if I obtain a small amount. I would rather not die in extreme pain, but the fact that it is a very lethal method of suicide is a plus. I would rather attempt this way than something that could fail, such as gassing myself.
DDMP:
I read about this cocktail but couldn't seem to find much information about its legality or where it can be obtained or how it works?
SECONDARY NEMBUTAL CONSIDERATION:
I am also considering traveling to Mexico in the summer to obtain Nembutal there and just die there. I am not sure if I am capable of achieving this by myself, both because I don't know if I could find the site properly, and because I am not sure if I have the guts to die alone in Mexico. I would be willing to travel to Mexico with a buddy but have low hopes that someone would actually follow through and not back out on me.
Where I will do it: A hotel room seems to be the easiest place. I haven't considered this too carefully, yet. If it ends up having to be violent and bloody I will just use a farmer's field, but hopefully I can avoid violent and bloody.
What I need to prepare first: I need to make a will, I need to arrange for someone to keep my dog, I need to write notes to my family and make a video for my kids, and I need to purge my house of belongings to make it easier for my family to deal with details after I am gone. Not sure if I am missing anything else in this category.
So current top method considerations would be cyanide or traveling to Mexico for Nembutal. If you have any further details or suggestions, I would appreciate it. Thank you.
I've gotten very frustrated because some plans and/or methods are too precise and require more smarts than I have. Plans I am capable of tend to have a very low rate of success, and I do not want a botched suicide attempt with brain damage or stomach pumping or any of that. I would like to find someone capable and discreet to assist me, but that is very dangerous. I do not know who to trust that would not report me, and I also do not know who would be willing to put themselves in jeopardy legally to help me.
NEMBUTAL:
I would like to go nonviolently and painlessly, so I first considered Nembutal, but I do not want to order it online and risk being fined or jailed.
GUNSHOT:
I have considered a gunshot to the head, however, A) this can still fail, B) I cannot legally procure a gun C) I know nothing about guns or how to use them, D) I do not want to leave a mess or disturbing situation for anyone who finds my body.
EXPLOSIVES:
I looked up explosives because they are quickly lethal, but I couldn't find any information and pretty much all of it had to do with terrorism. I assume they're illegal anyway. If I could procure some I could just blow myself up in a field. But I don't think this option is going to really pan out.
CYANIDE:
Apparently I may be able to obtain cyanide, and that is not a legal worry if I obtain a small amount. I would rather not die in extreme pain, but the fact that it is a very lethal method of suicide is a plus. I would rather attempt this way than something that could fail, such as gassing myself.
DDMP:
I read about this cocktail but couldn't seem to find much information about its legality or where it can be obtained or how it works?
SECONDARY NEMBUTAL CONSIDERATION:
I am also considering traveling to Mexico in the summer to obtain Nembutal there and just die there. I am not sure if I am capable of achieving this by myself, both because I don't know if I could find the site properly, and because I am not sure if I have the guts to die alone in Mexico. I would be willing to travel to Mexico with a buddy but have low hopes that someone would actually follow through and not back out on me.
Where I will do it: A hotel room seems to be the easiest place. I haven't considered this too carefully, yet. If it ends up having to be violent and bloody I will just use a farmer's field, but hopefully I can avoid violent and bloody.
What I need to prepare first: I need to make a will, I need to arrange for someone to keep my dog, I need to write notes to my family and make a video for my kids, and I need to purge my house of belongings to make it easier for my family to deal with details after I am gone. Not sure if I am missing anything else in this category.
So current top method considerations would be cyanide or traveling to Mexico for Nembutal. If you have any further details or suggestions, I would appreciate it. Thank you.
