check myself in?

[mmh4]

This is my first post. I've read posts as a guest for a while and finally made an account. Here's my question....I've tried meds. I've tried counseling. I don't want to try and try and try just to find something that makes life 'bearable'. I don't want to try anymore; and yet, I feel selfish for ctb as a solution. I have thought about showing up at the ER while my SO is asleep and asking them to check me in somewhere. Somewhere that can teach me how to be happy and normal. Somewhere helpful and not somewhere miserable. I'm not sure that such a place exists, and I'm thinking it would be smarter in the long run to find a solution elsewhere? I just feel exhausted and am in search of a quick solution other than ctb. I know it doesn't exist but any advice to my situation ? 24/F/USA/ open to any messages from other females

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'd suggest using the site search for terms like mental ward and inpatient. Lots of folks have shared their experiences, more bad than good, but it will help you make an informed decision. Unfortunately, there is no quick solution. Finding a knowledgeable therapist who you feel comfortable with and is knowledgeable would be a good step, and it will take time. If you don't find you're progressing with that person, it could be that they use modalities that are not a ft for your needs. Healing is a journey. That's the best answer I can give you.

 

[autumnal]

This is my first post. I've read posts as a guest for a while and finally made an account. Here's my question....I've tried meds. I've tried counseling. I don't want to try and try and try just to find something that makes life 'bearable'. I don't want to try anymore; and yet, I feel selfish for ctb as a solution. I have thought about showing up at the ER while my SO is asleep and asking them to check me in somewhere. Somewhere that can teach me how to be happy and normal. Somewhere helpful and not somewhere miserable. I'm not sure that such a place exists, and I'm thinking it would be smarter in the long run to find a solution elsewhere? I just feel exhausted and am in search of a quick solution other than ctb. I know it doesn't exist but any advice to my situation ? 24/F/USA/ open to any messages from other females

Sorry that this needs to be a consideration, but do you have health insurance and/or money?

Almost all psychiatric hospital systems around the world have a lower threshold for admission into private hospitals/clinics compared to public ones. This is because funding to the public system is usually limited and so there are always shortages of beds. So they can only admit the most critically serious cases, where the risk of harm to self or others is significant. From what you have described, you may not meet those admission criteria for a public psychiatric admission. But if you have health insurance and/or money, you may be able to get into a private psychiatric clinic.

Please realise that whether you are admitted somewhere or not, there are generally no quick fixes in mental health, as @GoodPersonEffed mentioned. Trying a different therapist and/or different medication may well be more useful than a hospital admission, especially because the two main goals of a hospital admission (other than physical safety, which doesn't seem relevant for you) are to stabilize medication dosages and begin psychotherapy that then continues after you leave hospital.

Additionally, you seem to be describing your current environment as causing misery rather than just a depression from inside your mind. Are there changes you can make to your current living arrangements that might improve you quality of life while at the same time you explore medication/therapy changes?

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

Somewhere that can teach me how to be happy and normal.

Check out something like a partial hospitalization program (PHP) or intensive outpatient program (IOP).

Although they won't necessarily teach you to be those things, some programs can give you the tools to manage day to day at least.

Although in the US, I would imagine these programs might be on hold because of coronavirus.