I originally found BPD from trying to figure out what the happy fuck is wrong with my mother. Turns out she's just a straight up Narcissist BUT through discovering more and more about personality disorders, I do believe that I have Quiet BPD. It explains so much, and yet I also hate that I can be pathologized so easily. That my entire being is a set of identifiable triggers and symptoms. Like someone can know me, and my backstory, by reading a bullet list of criteria.
I don't have the money or resources for a real diagnosis, but it's a perfect fit. Too perfect. My mind feels like shattered glass at all times and i constantly want to burn everything down.